Tell Me What You Want

Yes this is indeed my second post of the day...

Sometimes I believe I have somewhat of a split persona when it comes to what I like.
I have days where I wish to be nowhere but a cozy little cabin like shack, snuggled in heaps of blankets with a good book and a roaring fire but other days I have the yearning to be in the city amid the noise and hustle and bustle itself wandering around with no goal in mind except to feed my curiosity.
On days like today I want to be down town. I want to be roaming the busy streets, shoulder to shoulder to complete strangers with a venti latte in one hand and a handful of shopping bags in the other... I miss the energy and the thrill of being out there and making a last minute decision to stop in for a bite to eat and find out that this little cubby hole of a diner is going to become my new absolute favorite spot. Or in the midst of window shopping have something catch your eye that you would never in a million years even think of owning but it becomes the most precious piece in your entire wardrobe collection...
Yes I do realize these are very materalistic things I want and miss at the moment but in all honesty my life has not been even one ounce materalistic for awhile... I can't even remember the last time I went shopping for myself out of the want rather than the need. And this isn't a bad thing, it doesn't make me feel less fulfilled because my closet isn't if anything I feel I have connected to much more meaningful things in my life lately.
However there will always be a part of me who likes things... unique, pretty, wonderful things ... and of course the time spent finding them.


On another note (because I'm so bored at work that I can't force myself into another game of solitaire)

It is almost incomprehensible to me that my son... my little boy... is turning 3 years old in a matter of months! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

It seems only days ago he was just learning to walk now he is carrying on full conversations with anyone who will listen, the sucky is gone, he sings his A,B,C's and he has a favorite movie.... I just can't believe how fast the time really does fly.
And you can say it over and over again but it never loses its weight... time flies! Life creeps up on you bit by bit and when you finally realize it a year has passed... or 3!

Before I was pregnant my biggest fear was babies... I wouldn't hold them if offered, I might give a small coo towards one if my mom was busy oggling but never would i offer up so much enthusiasm on my own.
To me babies were scary, they were fragile and noisy messy and dirty!
Then I found out I would soon be a mother, all of that changed. I learned to appreciate and actually become amazed by the miracle of a being growing inside me, the most amazing experience I've ever felt was to feel my baby squirming around... MY baby, my son.
Now he's a toddler, I'm realizing I can't protect him from everything I wish I could... I'm realizing that I have to let go little by little so that he can grow up and be strong willed and independant ... I'm realizing how hard it is to do that.
I love being a mom.
I love having a family, I love knowing I have a partner in being a parent and that I will always have someone by my side to help me and figure it out with me. People always say how hard it is to keep a relationship going when you have children, I am definitely not disagreeing but I will say that once I learned that we were in it together (which I know sounds pretty obvious but for me it wasn't at first) and that we needed each other as well as our son to keep our relationship strong.
So as we come up to our little man's third birthday party and I conjure up ideas in my head of how to make it a fun one I can't help but be a little sad that the baby days really are gone and he needs me less and less each year... but at the same time I have so much I look forward to as he continues to grow!
I can't wait for this fall, we're starting him in his first group class... probably karate! Maybe an art class too :)
There is just so much out there to look forward to... so I'll try to remember this as I fondly look back!