I (don't) Like to Move It, Move It

So the last couple weeks have been pretty uneventful...pretty long and pretty slack...

I am still on what feels like a roller coaster exercise routine, I joined curves and the first couple weeks I was pretty good about going but then I had a bad week where i didn't and this week I didn't and I feel like CRAP! I have no energy, no motivation and I pretty much slept ALL weekend whenever I got the chance...I would like to blame some of that on this shit weather we've been having but I can't make excuses forever, I am lazy!

I have a big fear of gaining weight, thankfully my metabolism won't easily allow for that to happen but I can't rely on good genes and aside from weight issues I can't ignore my fear of other heart problems that my bad eating habits could lead to. I would say my self image is pretty distorted as it is ... I weigh in at a pretty average and mostly healthy weight of around 130. Yet I feel caught up with the fact that only a year ago I weighed 10 pounds lighter. But i am not exactly sure if that was healthy or not...I think most of it was because after having Aiden I was so concerned with not looking like I had a baby that I just didn't eat but then I found my love affair with food again...now i want to tape my mouth closed for a month...however I'm trying to keep smart and healthy about it, still eating but trying to cut out the unhealthy snacks...or cut down at minimum. And I'm going to get my butt back in gear with exercise! I'm running the 5K mothers day marathon with my friends, that gives me two weeks to get my stamina back up for running and to get myself back to Curves 3 times per week minimum. In a month I would like to see some tone to my arms and stomach and by summer I want to be able to go biking and jogging with Aiden!

Why is it so hard to be active? I've always lived an active life until ... well after high school ... I don't like feeling this way, weak and unhealthy. But I still can't get the drive up to change it...I need to find that and start to change my habits. I don't want my son to grow up in front of the television, at least he motivates me! Now that he wants to go outside and play all the time it is great for me. But I want to feel good and be able to keep up with him... so that should motivate me if nothing else!

Well here goes another attempt...wish me luck!

Trash

Lately I have been noticing an abundance of woman carrying ugly handbags. In my defense on the c-train to and from work there is not a lot to keep my attention when I forget my book... One theme that seems to be quite common in the U.H. category is the patchwork cat bag.

Now in my personal opinion, unless this bag is either a)holding your cat's belongings or b)holing your knitting essentials (because you are over 60) this is not a style that is very chic...

What is it about this that draws women in? Much like wearing your favorite disney character on a sweatshirt...this isn't something that is very sylish past the age of 10.

If you like cats then verbalize it, we don't need to see them plastered all over your outfit. If you are trying to make a statement then trust me, all you are telling people is "I am a crazy cat lady who is senial and lives alone" because if you did have any (honest) friends they would surely tell you this bags belongs in the trash.

Hum Drum Day

Another workday...another countdown of the hours passing...
I feel restless, lazy, unmotivated...it's one of those days where I would have been perfectly content staying home and spending the day in my pj's.
I am looking forward to the weekend, I enjoy spending my saturday's with my little guy. Tomorrow I'm taking him to see the baby animals at Agricultural Days which I'm excited about. I know he will enjoy it!
There is really nothing like seeing a smile and hearing a laugh from your child :)
I am in an indulgent mood today, I'm thinking that it would be very nice to go home and not cook dinner and have a glass of wine and perhaps some ice cream...that sounds like a very good way to spend the evening.

Anyways, an uplifting thought...I have recently made a "motivational plan" for the next two years...I don't plan on sticking to it exactly, well not all of it, as with all of my plans they never really seem to fall through the way I intend...but enough rambling, this is it:
Sometime within the next year and a half I would like to take a fun family trip somewhere new, as we are on a budget my plan is restricted but I'm considering something like Pheonix, California, as long as it is warm I will be content. My fingers are crossed that will be happening this year...we will see...
My second plan of action is another trip, this one to Vegas! Just me and D, so I will be really excited for that one but there is no set date or expected date...we'll see on that one.
The third, biggest and most exciting part of my plan is our WEDDING!!!! We have set our date and this time I swear we are NOT CHANGING IT!!!!
So I'm pleased to say that August 21st, 2010 is when we will exchange our vows!
I can't wait to wear my beautiful dress & my "mahnolo blahniks" ... and to make it official with D of course!!!
And the last part of my plan is of course the honeymoon...which will actually be more of a "familymoon"
So that will hopefully be our exotic destination trip!
The countdown begins...I hope we are lucky and follow through with it all!!

I Want...

A PUPPY!

Are we really living...?

Sometimes I feel like life defeats me. I don't have enough time to spend on things I enjoy, I don't have enough money to experience things I would like to, I don't have enough courage to jump off my path and start a new one...
I just feel like there are so many things that hold us back in life from where we should be, what we should be doing.
How wasteful it seems to be to work 7 days a week, to spend our weekends running errands and doing chores around our homes/ect. We don't have time for the people we love or for the hobbies we truly would rather spend our precious time on. We don't have the budget to take random holidays and travel and share those experiences with others.
So what really...what is it that we are living for?
Day after day, month to month....years pass us by and our internal clocks continue on...each second dissappearing before our eyes screaming at us to live.
We robotically move from our homes, to our cubicles, back home to the couch...wasting away...
How do you live each day as if it were your last? I know if it were my last day I wouldn't be spending it bored at work or numb infront of my television.
But we have to do these things.
So at what point really are we supposed to be living and cherishing?
Does anybody actually have time for that stuff?
I wish we had equal work to weekend ratios. I want more family time, more me time...
More fulfillment! Just more...