Here I Go Again On My Own...

So it's been awhile since my last entry... I can blame my broken computer for that...
It seems like there should be a lot to "catch up" on but really there isn't and because I have nothing particularly interesting to say I'll just ramble incessantly.

I watched Julie & Julia on the weekend (and LOVED it!) and it really made me think about my life and how I let fear hold me back so many times from achieving great things. It's really inspiring that the stories of both women portrayed were true, two women going from "nobody's" to "somebody's" all because they simply pursued their greatest joy and love in life... cooking.
You hear the sayings "Find something you love to do and get paid for doing it" and then you see the proof that it's actually attainable however most of just continue to sit on the sidelines of life watching the few who surround us that succeed and are actually happy while doing it.
Perhaps, like me, some of those bystanders don't quite have it all figured out. What do I love doing? And not only that but what do I love that I'm also quite good at?
I love to write, I love to cook/bake, I love to help others/heal others, I love to be creative...
Sometimes though, I think 'would I really want to do that for a living? or would i end up hating it if i did?'
I guess you never know until you try, and if you let fear hold you back you only have yourself to blame.
Over the past year I've been trying to assert myself more and to find new things I might enjoy and not hold back because of fear or for being comfortable.
I did apply to return to school in the fall, massage therapy... I've always had an interest in it and I love giving others massages. I love the idea of being a masseuse and being my own boss someday. It seems right. So here is to hoping I am accepted. *Fingers crossed
If not then I will take it as a sign and continue on my hunt for the perfect job!
I do have to admit that I've never seen myself behind a desk, day in and day out and content with it... despite that I am applying for office jobs at the moment to get out of where I am... either until I get into school or unless i don't.
So really, right now everything feels up in the air... I have no certainty and no clue what lies ahead of me for the next year but I'm ready for whatever comes my way and I'm ready to take the bull by the horns! No more fear and no allowing myself to settle! That's my promise... so here I go.