Oh Bother...

Today I was asked a question. It was a simple question and yet it filled me with so many different emotions and thoughts...

The question was if I am in school. As my current occupation is not so much a 'dream job' or something that many would think of as a respectable career it is an understandable question to have been asked, however it was the tone of the question that brought me down. The tone of it followed by the silence after my answer made me feel as if I am perceived as inadequate or not smart enough to do a 'worthy' job. I love my boss and I believe she is the most respectable, honest and kindest person I've ever met. We have had the conversation of what paths we would have taken under different circumstances, it isn't as if she dreamed of being a cleaner... but so what if she did?! Somebody has to do it. And I don't feel that I have to justify why I am doing it to anyone regardless of their awkward silences or ignorant questions. I am making a life for myself and my family and I am happy doing it.

I have come to realize in the past few months what I've given up... I like to say that I traded a calloused soul for calloused hands. I gave up a lifestyle not a life... and I wasn't made for that lifestyle to begin with so it's no loss. Now I work with people who actually care, not only about me but my family. Life is good now.

People do not understand or respect those of us who get down and dirty for the rest of society to live the way they do. 

Of course I try not let the misconceptions of others influence me but at the end of the day it's hard not to reflect on them. I know that I work hard and that I am a good person, it shouldn't matter what I am working hard at because that doesn't make me any different than the person who is working hard behind a computer desk or than the other person working hard making the coffee's for everyone in the busy morning rush. A job is a job, as people we should follow our passions and go with our strengths... my passion is people and one of my strengths is doing work that is hands on.

That is my rant for the day...

:)

Backwards

Things have been going pretty great lately, I feel a lot happier than I have in a long time. However I can't help the feeling that I'm retracing my footsteps so to speak... coming back to my old job has been so good for my emotional well being and for having more time to spend with my little boy but it's also raised some stress due to finances and taking such a big pay cut from where I was. In that aspect I feel like I'm backtracking ... but at the same time I know that money isn't everything... and obviously doesn't equal happiness. I guess I'm just used to living like we were and being able to spend money without keeping track of where it was going and now I have to watch every dollar that leaves my wallet. It is probably a good thing though because I was really losing track of my spending so now I'm forced to think about everything I buy and that will be a good change... I can rebuild our "foundation" of our earnings this way. We are trying to start over, clear out our debt and get into better financial shape. It hasn't been easy but... who ever said anything about money being an easy feat?

There has been so much change in our lives in the last few months... it's been hectic and sometimes hard but it's also very refreshing to be in a completely different place in most aspects of our life and to be so much happier and we have been happier too; as a couple which is even more important!

We have changed a lot lately in respect to how we live and with our restricted budget we've had to give up a lot of luxuries we were used to but I don't honestly feel as if we are living in a limited way. I think a lot of our purchases prior to this change were selfish splurges we would allow ourselves to have because we could and now we can't be selfish, we have to think as a family and as a whole and that is a much better way to go about things anyways. I have taught myself how to make my expensive luxury latte's from home and I now have a D.I.Y. ritual for my pedicures and my hair coloring wants, the things that used to "make my day" are now just nice little additions because now what makes my day is spending so much more time with my family or being able to cook dinner or to play with my son more often... I'm a better mom, fiance and probably every other title I fall under simply because my focus has completely and totally changed. I have a new outlook on my life and on myself that I can only thank to my backwards actions!