Plastic Makes...Perfect?!

I used to watch the Hills religiously, I have the first two seasons on DVD and I still admire Lauren Conrad (otherwise known as L.C. the main "character") I haven't paid attention to the past few seasons however but even those of you who have no idea what show I'm talking about probably will recognize this face:

Or maybe you would better recognize this one:

If you don't recognize either then you may live under a rock or just don't follow reality t.v. at all... but you don't need to know who I'm talking about to understand what I'm talking about...

This young reality star has made a name for herself being the BFF of L.C. and then the EX-BFF of L.C. and then the DITSY GF of Spencer Pratt and then to the IDIOT WIFE of Spencer Pratt... well now she's gone and made a whole new name for herself... Barbie.

The 23 year old underwent 10 different plastic surgery procedures in 1 day. Thats right TEN in ONE day.

The fact that a woman who has barely passed the age of minority feels she needs that much plastic surgery to be beautiful is a travesty!!

I'm sure we've all had our days... or weeks maybe... where we've felt inadequate and ugly or like we just don't measure up to what society deems as beautiful these days... and I admit I have been there too.

For a whole year after having my son I was obsessed with my boobs and how they had changed sinced giving birth and I was determined I was going to get an augmentation. I did research and even started looking into getting a loan to have it done when one day I realized how shallow I was being, not only shallow but selfish considering I was willing to put that kind of money into myself when my family didn't even have a home to call our own. I tossed that idea out the window and haven't looked back since. Sure I still have my hang ups about my body but it's MY body and it's part of my mother and father who are the most beautiful to me, why would I ever want to change that? And for what? Boobs sag, it's a fact of life. Bigger boobs...well they sag more!

Anyways back to the point, it really disgusted me to find out that this celebrity had gone to such extremes to make a few magazine covers. I haven't watched but I've heard that on the opener of this season's The Hills Heidi showed her family the "new look" for the first time and the reaction was not anywhere near supportive or congratulative. Which... do you blame them?? If I was her mother I would be suuing that doctor for performing such a drastic amount of surgeries on a young woman who didn't need them in the first place.

Obviously this girl has issues and I'm assuming that in a few more years she will get some more upgrades until she eventually looks like Joan Rivers (which sadly she bares a lot of resemblance to her already)

And I'm not saying I'm against all plastic surgery, I am all for implants if you feel more confident after... as long as they are an appropriate size for your body and not to get into the Playboy mansion. However to me it's the nose jobs and face lifts and botoxing that I have a problem with, aging is part of life and when I'm 40 I want to look 40 even if that means having crowsfeet and smile lines because it shows I have expression and it shows I've had good laughs.

I don't want to hide the life on my face, I want to be full of it!

I think that women need positive influences to show them that beauty comes in all forms, not just Barbie. Beauty isn't (or shouldn't) be about conforming... or being perfect... how BORING we would all be if it were. Beauty is about what makes us different and unique... it's what sets us apart from the crowd.

Recently I've started to love myself a lot more; from the freckles on my skin to my dark and full eyebrows... they make me... well ME! And if I weren't me I wouldn't be the daughter of my amazing parents or the mother of my wonderful son or the soon to be wife of my great man!

And why would I ever, ever want that?

Soup de Jour

Yesterday's Soup of the Day was (homemade) Vegetable

Although I didn't take the recipe out of Mirielle's book it was quite similar and only differed as to what I had on hand. My recipe was a bit more on the stew side than the soup side... however it was still really good!

Vegetable Soup:
1 yellow onion, diced
3 stalks celery, diced
4 potatoes, cubed
1/2 cabbage
5 carrots, diced
1 clove garlic, diced/smashed
1 tbsp. dill
fresh ground pepper
sprinkle salt
4 cups water

Bring water to a boil in a large stock pot. Add the potatoes, onion and garlic. Cook until potatoes soften.
Add the remaining vegetables and cook until tender - about 15 minutes.
Add seasonings and allow to simmer on low heat for another 5 to 10 minutes.
Serve.

It was simple and quick and really good! You can use any type of vegetables you like in this, the dill gave it a wonderful flavor and smell (it's one of my favorite herbs to use!)

I have another recipe that I simply LOVE, it is my all time favorite soup to make (but definitely a winter meal)

Beef & Vegetable Soup

Stewing beef
2 cups beef broth
2 cups water (or more depending if you like lots of broth)
1 can garbonzo beans (chick peas)
4 stalks celery
5 carrots, diced
2 cloves garlic, diced
1 yellow onion, diced
1 sm.bag baby potatoes, cubed
1 lg.can stewed tomatoes
1 bay leaf
Salt & pepper
paprika
Hot sauce
Extra virgin olive oil

In a large stock pot add E.V.O.O. and stewing meat, brown meat and allow to cook through (stirring so as not to burn)
Add potatoes, onion, garlic and canned tomatoes. Cook until potatoes soften.
Add remaining vegetables, bay leaf, salt & pepper, paprika, hot sauce, broth and water. Once bubbling lower heat and allow to simmer for 10 minutes, until vegetables are tender.
Remove bay leaf.
Serve with sourdough bread!

This is another soup that you can substitute the vegetables for what you have on hand or whatever you prefer. It's an amazing meal for cold snowy nights in and makes enough for leftovers!
(I am REALLY going to miss having beef in this dish...) If you have one, try making it in a slow cooker as it will drastically change the meat to a very savoury and soft texture.

Soup is my all time favorite thing to make and it's really easy and when you make it yourself it's so healthy for you! There are SO many endless options of types and flavors too, sure to please any palate!
As long as you use appropriate seasonings it will turn what may sound bland into flavorful goodness! :)

Something Old, New, Borrowed & Blue

The idea of having these 4 things on your wedding day is a tradition that dates back to the Victorian era and represents good luck

Something Old represents a link from the brides family and past to symbolize continuity.
Something New represents good luck for the newly wedded couples future together.
Something Borrowed represents that friends and family will be there whenever help or support is needed.
Something Blue represents faithfulness, loyalty and purity.

Because I love traditions I am encorporating these "Good Luck" charms on our wedding day, so far I have:

Something Old - not yet determined...

Something New - a pair of earrings that D gave me on Christmas

Something Borrowed - I am considering wearing a cuff bracelet that belonged to my Grandmother that my Mom now has.

Something Blue - MY SHOES! (Manolo Blahnik - Something Blue Shoes)

I was doing some research on other wedding traditions and here are some interesting tid bits!

Wearing of the Veil - historically a veil was made of heavier cloth so that if another man was love with the bride he wouldn't try to kidnap her on her wedding day because nobody would know who she was until she was un-veiled, ready to kiss her new husband.

Wedding Cake - originally bread was broken over the brides head and guests would scramble to pick up the crumbs for good luck. (Ouch!) It later turned to kissing over the cutting of cake. It is said that if a single woman brings home a piece of cake and puts it under her pillow as she sleeps she will see the face of her future husband in her dreams!

What were/are you're lucky charms for your wedding? (Or traditions)

Bon Appetit!

The translation of the above words in English means very simply "Enjoy your meal"

It seems as though we have lost the meaning of this concept... perhaps it has been lost in translation...

As I continued to read through more of French Women Don't Get Fat I began to understand where the concept of eating for pleasure has become lost upon North Americans.

First and foremost it seems that cooking in America has become quite a lazy tradition, one in which we may only take seriously for our Sunday dinners with family leaving the rest of the week as a fend for yourself or grab and go which leaves little room for dining to be an "experience" in itself. That and the combination of stocking our shelves and freezers with processed foods doesn't leave a huge choice for wholesome and deliscious to be found...

In F.W.D.G.F. Mirielle recommends taking a 3 month "recasting" of your diet which is not to deprive yourself into losing weight but rather to help you focus on what you eat and determining why you are eating it. For example if you eat a bag of potato chips in one sitting in front of the t.v. once a week it tends to be a habit out of boredom or simply because you are not fulfilling yourself at mealtime. The realization of these trivial moments where you rely on "junk food" will help you put a stop to them by slowely decreasing these munchies - and trying to stop television snacking all together (because far too often we are not paying attention to our hunger while watching t.v. and we over eat)  If weight loss is your goal Mireille promises that if you keep a food diary for a few weeks then start your recasting by eliminating or limiting the problem areas (or "offenders" as she refers to them) you will lose at least half of your goal weight in the 3 months of doing that. She doesn't ask you to survive off rediculous diet plans either but simply to focus and pay attention to your food.

To enjoy your meal!

After you have created your food diary take a look at it, or if you want it's always helpful to have an honest friend go over it with you. Figure out where you are allowing your offendors to take over your diet and slowely start to limit or replace those with alternatives.
If you have an alcoholic beverage every evening try replacing it with a tea instead. If you drink sugar filled juices or soda's daily switch them for sparkling water or add a slice of orange, lemon or lime to regular water to add a kick.
Also pay close attention to your portion sizes, it is very important to know how much you should eat in a day and making sure at dinner time you are having the correct portions of grains, proteins, dairy and veggies/fruits. If you follow the guidelines you will notice you feel fuller and more satisfied yet not heavy and stuffed.

Another few key elements Mirielle suggests:
Always eat breakfast, this meal not only gets your metabolism going for the day but it gives you the energy and the resistance from resorting to your cravings mid morning when you are starving!

Always carry a snack "just in case" - it should be healthy and enough to keep you satisfied until your next meal. A handful of nuts or dried fruits are easy to throw into your purse and go!

If you indulge on something make up for it by limiting further indulgences that day or the following day.
Give yourself a break, reward yourself with a treat once in awhile to remind you that food is for enjoyment. (Again - after an indulgence be wary of your following food choices for the day)

Incorporate some type of excersise. It doesn't have to be going to a gym and breaking a sweat every day but 30 minutes of walking 3 times a week will definitley go a long way in the end!

Make your own meals, learn how to cook. It doesn't have to be extravegant and it's not as hard as it may seem!

Try to replace your grocery shopping habits of going twice a month to going every other day for your fruit and veggie needs. Don't rely on processed foods and frozen meals. Experiment with new flavors and techniques in the kitchen.
SHOP BY SEASON! This is a big one, shopping when fruits and veggies are in season means getting the best tasting foods for your palate. Try to go to farmers markets as often as possible for these items as they are a much better quality than the produce shipped to large chain grocery stores.

Above: Mireille Guiliano (Author of F.W.D.G.F.)

She is just radiating charm & sophistication - don't you think??!!

I am quite excited to try out the recipes in the book; as I love homemade soups I am going to try making one from her book tonight. Mireille says that in France soup is eaten up to four days a week at meal time, which is another way to stay lean and still satisfied. Pair a bowl of hearty soup with a slice of bread (try a freshly baked loaf from the market or bake your own!) followed by a light and fresh dessert (a plain yogurt topped with berries is a good choice for the majority of your treats or snacks as it will fill you and also provide essential nutrients, also if you purchase a yogurt-or make your own, containing pro-biotics and live cultures they will aid in digestion) And I love to end my meal, or evening, with a cup of tea. Try cammomile as there is no caffeine in it that will keep you awake all night!
Another recipe I'm eager to try out is Ratatouille - a vegetarian dish, like a casserole but made with vegetables.

For those of you in Calgary looking for a market I highly reccomend checking out the Calgary Farmers Market (located in the Currie Barracks off Crowchild Tr.) which offers an array of produce including organic produce and meats, and so much more!!
Bon Appetit!

Making Work Spaces WORK

If you've ever come across the work place of Google (the Sweden office) then you have probably felt the envy and longing of wishing companies like that existed everywhere... if you have not ever seen pictures I suggest you check it out!

It makes me wonder if a company goes to such extreme measures to ensure the comfort and happiness of their employees would it not bring a HUGE benefit? (DUH - if I could get a massage AT WORK everyday I would never call in sick!!) and therefore would it not create a team of more dedicated and efficient workers?
And not only the amazing features you as an employee would be offered but even the offices themselves are a big switch from the dreary and drab that most of us are used to.

If I could have a dream office it would be an unexpected space filled with charm, inspiration and comfort!

Something like this darling picture above!!

Another lovely office space.

I think an office should be bold... it should kick start you everyday to release your inspiration and make you feel "at home". I believe your space determines your attitude/emotions, if you can create a space that allows you to feel serene and also gets you motivated then you've achieved perfection!

Of course not all of us have the luxury of a complete make-over to our offices (or for most of us - cubicles) but there are some smaller scale things you can do to create a big impact.

1. Organize - If you're space is not organized YOU will not be organized. Once everything has it's own place you will notice you feel calmer and less agitated which in turn will help you be more efficient!

2. Bring in comforts - whether it's a few pictures of loved ones or friends, or just a place you LOVE being, frame it and give it a spot. (IKEA has some neat Art Cards you can frame as well!)

3. Use unconventional pieces - you can dress up and transform your area by bringing in pretty decor and using them for something other than their designated use. Think small vases for a pencil holder (IKEA has a great selection for this) Baskets to organize your Inbox/Outbox instead of the plastic trays.

4. Bring in a plant - plants are great, especially if you are in a high rise (due to the recycled air systems) as they help generate oxygen and in a stuffy office that's a wonderful thing! For those of you who don't have green thumbs (I do not...) bamboo is a great option as it's very low maitenance!

5. Be crafy! - If you feel your inner Martha Stewart wanting to come out get a piece of coark board (from any hardware store) cut to whatever size you desire and cover it with a patterned wall paper to liven it up a bit - it will instantly become a peice of art as well as a functional memo board!

Take a few small steps and voila - your offie oasis awaits!

W-W-W-Wedding!!!

103 Days (and counting...)

The time is passing more and more quickly, or so it seems, until the wedding... I have 3 months to go which seems like a lot of time but really it's just around the corner and this makes me feel ... anxious yet very excited!!

At the moment my To Do list looks something like this:

Finish invitations

Do address labels for invitations

Mail invitations

Find B.Maids dresses

Get Groomsmen to go for tux rentals/fitting

Find Florist

Choose flowers

Buy/rent ceremony decor

Purchase guest book

Put together the D.I.Y. stuff

Decide on favors for the guests

Buy favors & put together

Book meeting with officiant

Discuss rehearsal, timeline of ceremony, ect.

Get undergarments for dress

Book final fitting

Find attire for flower girl & ring bearer

Pick out flower girl accessories

Get ring bearer accessories

Confirm ceremony songs

Confirm any special readings for ceremony

Create list of songs for reception (first dance, ect.)

Confirm with DJ music, lighting, ect.

Discuss with photographer on photo options and locations

Provide a guest list to M.O.H. for shower/stagette

Create wedding day program (rough draft)

Finalize program

Create program

Start writing vows

Decide on make-up & hair for the big day

Choose a friend or stylist to create the look

So I think I have it under control...I feel like most of the To Do's are smaller things that won't take up a lot of time so I've been putting them off for now. The only thing I'm self-nagging on is the invitations, I want those bitches sent out ASAP... but I've been putting off those as well... oh inner procrastinator why do you bring me down so?!?

I have narrowed down the majority of my decoration ideas to YES and NO... here are some ideas I'm using and some that I just really like and wanted to share:

This is my centerpiece look alike

I found mini galvanized pails at Ikea and I'm going to use them for the flowers (as shown above) and coincidentally I'm looking to use hydrangeas in them... AND I also found used mini pails on Kijiji to use as decor around the reception hall too!

I came across various Monogram decorations and I just love them!

I'm going to re-create this look with some twigs & twine that I bought from Michaels.

I believe I said it in an earlier blog but the look/theme we are going for is Garden Party meets Wedding! Nothing too fancy or formal but just elegant enough to have the WOW factor!

I'm proud to say I made the invitations myself, with a little help from Martha Stewart (I bought the stationary) then added a cute stamp I found (at Michaels) and it just pulled it together perfectly! I'll take a picture to upload my craftiness!

Our color theme has finally been decided on as Black, Ivory and Navy Blue. I wanted to keep the colors muted and understated, nothing that would scream TRENDY in 10 years looking back on the photo's.

Much like my dress, I wanted everything to have a classic and simple vibe to it!

I ADORE these home-made signs and I'm going to attempt making one of our own!

I came across this "Just Married" banner and I love it... I think it's made from scrapbooking paper but it would even work as a quilted pattern - that could later be turned into a quilt for our home? Niiiice!

 

I love this idea of putting a wreath up... the welcoming look of it plus the theme of the "circle"

(no beginning or end)

At this time it seems I am running out of room for placement of all of these ideas so I doubt I will be adding this one to the list. However it's super cute!

That about sums it up ... at least for what I'm willing to share prior to the Big Day!

Falling Off the Wagon

So I had a little slip this weekend on my new diet... I was doing really good and I went 5 whole days without eating meat... okay 4 days, Saturday I had lunch with my brother and I ended up having Calamari... however I didn't get too down on myself because I had originally said white meat and seafood would be okay while I'm settling into the changes. So I cracked, ate the calamari (Hey we were at Opa it could have been a chicken pita wrap!!!) and I had a small thought in the back of my mind for the rest of the day that I shouldn't have. That night I was good even still, I ate vegetarian pizza with my family while the pepperoni and delux's stared me in the face whafting their meaty scents towards me... but then I cracked on Sunday when it was time for dinner and I wasn't sure what to make for my hungry family so I threw in a chicken lasagna and ate some too.
So really I didn't slip on MY diet, I gave myself the ok for those foods at the beginning, but I still felt guilty after I ate them.
The images of the animals suffering danced in my head with every bite of my lasagna, despite how tasty it was... I'm now faced with another dilemma... we're serving chicken at the wedding reception. If I am off all meat at that point no biggie, I'll double up on my veggies and breads, but still I feel almost a moral dilemma shaping inside of me... obviously I don't expect everyone to be vegetarian and eat vegetarian because I have decided to try it out. This is a huge decision, one that I'm still in the process of making (regarding what my commitment will be and what exactly I am planning on eliminating from my diet) so of course I wouldn't go changing everything around because of that.
While I was discussing this with D he made a comment that, although he supports me he wants me to know that despite the changes I'm making I'm only one person and I'm not going to be able to stop the whole world from eating meat and stop the violence towards the animals. Of course I know this and this isn't my goal, I mean of course it would be wonderful if the violence stopped and if people started to eat more plant based diets - but the reason I believe this isn't because of the cruelty, it's because of the fact that we are over farming these animals to the point of it being a large component in the greenhouse effect on our planet.
I believe this because I have learned what these animals are being fed and injected with which in turn gets ingested into our bodies and has damaging effects on our health and wellbeing.
I believe this because I think that we need to eat using our minds and our hearts as a guide to what we need day to day and not our cravings to decide what we want.
I'm only one person, yes. But I'm one LESS person keeping this industry afloat and that's good enough for me.

On another note I did have my first Veggie Burger on the weekend and it was scrumptious!

Spring Fling

With each change of season brings a new and fresh look at trends and our approach to fashion.
This renewal in nature often fuels a desire for renewing ourselves inside and out; what better way to be inspired than by Mother Nature!
For spring I have a list of items that are my must haves and some that I just lust for, here's a peek!

This spring the Garden theme has hit big time on the runways and in stores this season.

I really love what H&M has done, this dress is one of my favorites in their collection right now as well as this floral blouse:

Right now I'm in love with the idea of a girlie dress/skirt worn with an edgier shoe like these below from Aldo. The nude color is popping up everywhere this year, very accessible and very accomodating to your wardrobe!

Another thing I love about spring is the make up trends, everything is geared towards fresh and natural and it's so simple yet stunningly beautiful when done right!

My favorite make-up selections for spring are:

Tinted moisturizer: This is a great choice because it's not too heavy and concealed and you can get them an SPF built in. My favorite is Clinique Almost Make-up SPF 15 - this non greasy forumula gives you the perfect balance of coverage and moisture for everyday!

Mascara: YOU MUST WEAR MASCARA!! Your eyes are the window to your soul and you must give them the attention they deserve!
My favorite, another Clinique brand, is High Impact Mascara but I also really like MAC Fiber Lash. Both give you a very full and volumized lash, don't forget to curl first for an even sexier look.

Liner: For daytime looks and to keep it fresh and light stay away from heavy liner but for night or to add a playful look a liquid liner is the perfect touch. Mark (by Avon) has a great one that won't feather or smudge: Get in Line in Painted Black.

Cheeks: Stila Convertible Color in Lilium is a great 2 in 1 product you can use on lips and cheeks. Apply it lightly with fingertips onto the apples of your cheeks for the perfect flush of color!

Lips: I am a neutral colored gal for lips who rarely ventures into the world of hue but I do LOVE the look of the new lip tint "markers" out there. I really want to try this one by Mark Kissink in Berry Bitten. Top it off with a little gloss and you've got the perfect pucker, when pairing down the rest of the face you can afford to add some drama on the lips.

Scent: I like to mix up my scents for each season so for spring i like a delicate scent that only hits my nostrils when the wind happens to blow my way...
I like Georgio Armani Diamonds (which I own) and Bvalgari Jasmine Noir but for spring I want to pick up a more subtle scent like Nina Ricci 'Nina' (below)... I picked up Clinique In Bloom last year after falling in love at the counter however I found when I put it on I kept getting a whiff of alcohol which was NOT very alluring (and contributed to a headache until I showered it off...) but I do love my florals!

That's my beauty aresonal for spring - enjoy the blossoming beauty of the season!

P.S. What are your spring staples??

Eating shh-meating

It has been 3 days so far that I haven't eaten meat - red meat that is.
Yesterday, I picked my little A up from my parents and they had McDonalds...he of course had the McNugget Happy Meal... there were 2 nuggets untouched on the table and I, being hungry, decided to eat one. I picked it up, dipped it and held it for a few moments as I contemplated whether or not I should eat it. Thoughts raced through my mind about the cruelty that this animal may have suffered in it's life, the un-nutritional value of eating it and simply the fact that it wasn't really appealing to me at all anymore and I didn't think I wanted to eat it. You would think that this whole inner argument would have made me put the nugget down but I decided to take a bite... it was un-flavorful and not in any way satisfying and I threw the other half away... I felt really good after doing that. It was like I was overcoming an obstacle in some small way, refusing to eat what I know is bad for me but what I used to think of as good, cheap food. Now I see it for what it really is; good for nothing, cheap, unhealthy, un-flavored, un-satisfying lousy excuse for food.
I'm not really sure whether I could even eat chicken even if I knew it was organic and not abused... at this moment my brain has soaked up all of that information from The Kind Diet and it knows it isn't good for me and it now thinks of meat as something that once lived and breathed, where before I only thought of food as a recipe and a meal. I don't even like chickens...they traumatized me in my early teens when I was visiting a friend at her parents farm, we went to the coop and they all ran at me with their scary beaks aimed for pecking... I was sure they hated me! And I don't blame them, they probably knew they would become food...so I just don't know if I have it in me to even eat white meat. I don't know if I can exclude some animals from my diet - only based on the fact that they are worse for my body, and not based on the fact that I am an animal lover and I don't think I can seperate any into groups of life forms and meal forms no matter what. They are all animals...they are all worthy of living. The picture below is something like I had in my mind...

Yikes this is a big inner conflict I'm having here... I'm a bit stressed about tonight even! I'm having a dinner date with my sweetie (which I'm super excited for since we haven't had an ounce of privacy for so long!) and I have never gone out and not eaten meat, I've never even paid any attention to the vegetarian dishes served. I'm going to have to do some searching of where to go! It should be interesting anyways, it will be my first restaraunt vegetarian meal... I'll be sure to blog about it!

The other thing I'm concerned of is that I don't really know how to feed myself on this diet yet, I know that because I'm not limiting by products like cheese and dairy, ect. it isn't really that limited of what I can create but I literally feel lost when I try to come up with meal ideas because I'm so used to basing everything around meat! I always pick my meat first and recipe second. Now I have to completely change my thought process of cooking. And although this may sound silly I take a lot of pride in cooking great meals that everyone loves and I'm afriad that if I stop cooking meat meals nobody will like my food. I love cooking, I thrive when I cook! Thats my relaxation and my stress reliever... and now I have to re-learn everything about creating meals... I'm literally scared about this.

Next week I am going to be making my first grocery trip for all of my vegetarian needs, I will be cooking all of my vegetarian meals and that will be my first true test of how it turns out. I'm going to re-read the recipes chapter of my book, look up some yummy ones online and fire away with whatever confidence I can sum up to do it with. Wish me luck!

The Magic of Music

I have to gush for a moment... Oh Michael Buble how wonderful you are!

This mornings drive to work my vehicle was filled with the amazing song of, you guessed it, Mr. Buble (Lost). I love his music so much! I only own his first CD but I want them all. He has such a lovely voice and I really enjoy his style of music, it is such a welcomed break from anything else on the radio these days...

It's hard to find music, new music especially, with great lyrics. Lyrics are the reason I fall in love with songs, sure I have some favorite classic rock and even r&b tunes I sing along to but my all time favorite songs are the ones with lyrics that speak to me. Poetry!

Another song that played this morning that surprised me with it's magical verse was by Marianas Trench called Beside You:

When your tears are spent on your last pretense and your

tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense. When it's

in your spine like you've walked for miles and the only thing

you want is just to be still for a while

if your heart wears thin I will hold you up and I will hide you

when it gets too much

I'll be right beside you

When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath when

the space between the things you know is blurry and the words

you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud

I will stay. Nobody will break you

Trust in me. Don't pull away

I'm just trying to keep this together, because I could do worse,

and you could do better

Some of my other ultimately favorite songs:

Strawberry Fields Forever - Beatles (also the version by Ben Harper)
Amen, Omen - Ben Harper
A Lack of Color - Death Cab for Cutie
Sound of Silence - Simon & Garfunkle

...to name a few!
I love poetry! What a wonderful way to start the day :)

Eating for Pleasure

I've begun to divulge into French Women Don't Get Fat, so far only a few chapters in I'm quite intrigued and my first eye opener that was given by Mireille as she narrates through her life; after being an exchange student from France to America for a year and gaining 20 lbs she shares her discoveries as she returns to her regular weight/size, was that eating is meant to be a pleasurable experience. From her experiences living in America her values of food and eating had changed from the impact of American values.
In France food is a pleasure, it is honored by being enjoyed at the table and every bite is savoured. There is no eating en-route in France, food is not FAST in France. French women indulge in pastry and rich meals however they pay attention to their portions and they eat only when hungry and only until they are full, because they treat meals as a special time and devote their time and attention on their food they are aware of how much they are eating and able to feel their body react to feeling full and so, they stop.

This is only the beginning of realization for Mireille (in her book) and also the beginning of mine!
I used to be terrible for eating infront of the t.v. wether it was at meal time or I was simply snacking and I would never pay attention to how much or how fast I would eat my food. At my worst moments this involves pizza, chinese take out, fast food, ect. on the lazy nights I decide not to cook. Because of this I would feel bloated and much too full to do anything after but lay there and continue to watch t.v.
Lucky for me (somewhat) our t.v. has been disconnected for the time being and we have not yet set it back up, I have quite enjoyed the time spent at the dinner table (what a concept...dinner at the dinner table!) and the time reading and talking with my family rather than somberly staring at a screen for hours on end. This is how it should be, t.v. should be a past time reserved for a limited time each week. Daily news, weather reports and an occassional show or movie should be the extent of our boob tube watching and trust me, you're not missing out on anything... you ARE missing out on a lot by living infront of the television instead of living your own life! I've realised this in the last little while and it's improved my relationship with D and little A :) Which to me is the best way to spend time!

Anyways back to eating, I vow to eat with purpose from now on. My purpose is to feed and nourish my body but also to taste my foods and enjoy the savoury experience of eating!

Between my promise to cut out red meat and my promise to eat for satisfaction I am hoping that I will arrive at a middle ground that proves to be healthy as well as satisfying. A little bit of naughy with a lot of nice!

Icky VS. Kind

Last night I spent a few hours reading my new book (The Kind Diet) and it was SO EYE-OPENING!! I can't explain how learning this information made me feel in a word alone, it was literally crazy to have this knowledge of what sick and disgusting things we are consuming and what's even more wrong is that we have been so BRAINWASHED our whole lives to believe it's actually good for us.
Reading about how many hormones and toxins that are in the meat we eat; hormones and toxins that in turn are digested by US and therefore releasing these particles into our bodies where we have no need for them and they start to attack us! That's right, the food we are relying on for nutrition is harming our bodies more than it's helping.
Another HUGE bit of knowledge for me was the fact that meat eating is a main cause of concern and leads to multiple types of cancers and of course to the #1 cause of death in women across America...Heart Disease/Heart Attack from the aertery blocking cholesterol we are consuming. Our bodies make our own cholesterol, we have absolutely NO need to bring more into our diets.
Also it takes 3 days for meat to go through our systems, 3 days for it to move through our intestines, rotting and smelling until it passes through us completely. Ever wonder why after going #2 some times it smells so bad you think you might pass out?? Gauranteed thats what it's from!
While I was reading this I felt incrediblly disgusted by the thought of eating meat and I had just finished eating hamburger. I felt like I could literally feel the meat in my stomach just sitting there being disgusting and it made me want to vomit. I didn't but I wanted to.

So because of my newfound knowledge I have decided that I will no longer eat red meat (to start with) and I will be making the transistion to eating vegetarian and eventually I would like to become vegan. So I will not be eating red meat, to ease into my new diet & lifestyle I will (for the time being) continue to eat poultry and fish - organic only; until I am comfortable enough in completely ridding meat from my diet. I am also going to cut down on cheese and milk and switch to soy as well as limiting my intake of processed foods.

Making these changes (as outlined in the book) promises to make me feel amazing and my best ever... I can't wait!

I have to admit that even my recent changes in diet including eating more veggies and fruits and ensuring I get more fibre, drink less coffee and more tea/water has completely improved my body already. I am less bloated and I swear I've lost a couple pounds just from that!
I feel lighter and skinnier so I can just imagine how amazing I will feel once I cut out the red meat and majority of my dairy intake!

Another cool fact I found in the book, I have always suffered from chronic cold symptoms (stuffy, runny nose no matter what time of the year) and apparently this could be a sign of lactose intolerance! I had no idea! So I'm going to try living dairy free for a whole month and see if it stops, if it does then I am quite confident I will be just fine without it... ok maybe I'll still have the occassional ice cream but... we'll see!

So following these tid bits of info food was divided into two categories: Icky & Kind
Icky food is everything that is harmful to our bodies including meat
Kind foods are what nourish us which are related to plant based foods

In the book there are 3 stages of the Kind Diet:
1. Flirt - you are interested in changing and have been "flirting" with the idea of making the switch to vegetarian and will be adding aspects of the vegan diet into your current diet
2. Vegan - you are committed to cutting out all animal consumption in your diet & animal by products
3. Superhero - you are 100% vegan as well as living my a macro-biotic diet which means eating only locally by region and by season as well as never eating anything processed (no "meat" imposters, processed soy products, ect)

At the moment I am entering the Flirting stage, I would like to jump into Vegan but I don't think that would be a wise choice for me as I know my body and I know that I need to go through the period of adjusting and feeling the cleansing of the bad and the renewal feeling of the good so that I know I'm doing the right thing and I don't end up going back to bad habits.

I still have to read through the books, so far I've only made it through the chapters regarding food and the stages of the diet. I can't wait to get into the recipes because I'm really excited to incorporate them into my day!

I'm not sure how D will feel about my new meals as he is not an avid fan of vegetables in the first place so I'm not entirely sure how I am going to deal with him and little A for our meals but I will figure that out in time!

I can't wait to start feeling and looking my best. Kind Life HERE I COME!

Great Green Site

Check out this site:

www.thedailygreen.com

I've been browsing on here for a bit and there are amazing idea's for eating well, living green and also very cool photo's of others who live Green!
Check out Natural Pools and Tree Houses! VERY COOL!

It's almost as if Oprah know's I'm starting to practice Living My Best Life because I received an email with the link to this site from her today!

Thanks Lady O!

Food Diary: Day 1

Upon previously reading up on diet this, diet that I noticed a lot of sources reccomend doing a Food Journal ... not that I am on a diet per say but I am changing my diet so I want to try and keep track of what I'm eating so I'm going to give it a try! I'll attempt to do weekly entries of my journal but for today I want to start with 1 Day's worth of an entry:

Breakfast
1 cup Earl Grey tea w/vanilla sweetner & milk (+ 1tsp. Benefiber)
1/3 cup granola w/vanilla yogurt (1/3 cup) & 4 strawberries

Tall Soy Mocha Latte @ Starbucks

Lunch
Butternut Squash & Potato soup (homemade)
Strawberry & Banana smoothie (+1 tsp. Benefiber)
P.B. Nature Valley granola bar

Dinner
Red Bell Pepper baked (w/Quinoa/hamburger/mushroom/tomatoes)
1 glass Water

1 cup cammomile tea

Oh and I've recently started taking Benefiber (pictured below)



And I have to rave - it's only been a week - I feel great already!
In the past I've always had issues with being regular and feeling bloated and so much more that I won't get into...all I have to say is this was a huge help!
It is grit free so it blends in smoothly with juice, smoothies, yogurt, tea, ect. It has no taste and doesn't include sugar and is also gluten free!

Aside from my morning consumption everything else is what I am planning on eating for the rest of today.
Hopefully this will help me keep on track!

Revival of the Fittest

Upon waiting for my information package from school I've been thinking a lot lately about where my new direction in life will take me. I'm really excited to be venturing into this completely new avenue for my career, I'm excited that I will be promoting health and happiness in this line of work as I've never had a job where that was any part of the work. I truly believe that having passion for what you do, even a small passion and at the very least believing in what you do, that it will truly benefit you and limit the amount of stress you have in your life.
If you've ever heard the expression "Believe and you will succeed" I really believe this is true. I believe in natural healing and the power of massage therapy for stress relief, aches & pains and for an all over balance of the body. I have NEVER heard anyone say, after getting a massage, that they feel like shit. So for me, the thought of being that healer and promoting healthy habits and helping others feel great sounds very rewarding.
I've also noticed recently that my passion for health and wellbeing has taken over my blogging too! Because I've become so aware and so passionate about the way I live and eat I have become determined to spread this knowledge to everyone I know! In fact D even commented that I've become a library full of "Did you know's" recently because I always have something new I've discovered that I want to share with him.
Because of this I feel almost a reasurrance that I'm doing the right thing by taking massage therapy, I truly believe it's my calling and I truly believe in practicing what you preach so therefore I will be!

A year ago, or even a few months ago, I would never have seen myself going down this path or changing my life the way I am and I believe it has a lot to do with taking myself more seriously and trying to replace my "I can't" with "I can" because I admit for a long time I was in the habit of bringing myself down, I never believed I could achieve my goals and whenever I heard of other people who were living the life they always dreamed of I assumed they had something I didn't. I suppose in part I was right about that because they had the determination and belief that for so long I lacked in myself however I was wrong to tell myself that I couldn't achieve the same for myself. Because I thought that way I really believed that I would have to settle in life and I assumed because the only knowledge span I really had for work was basic computers that I would work in an office just like my mom, not that there is anything wrong with that but it definitely wasn't my dream and not an appealing target for me. However for awhile I was in an office and I tried to make it my "dream"... sure the money was good but I was fooling myself to think I was happy or in any way fulfilled. I don't care about accounting, I don't care about invoicing or data entry... I simply had no interest in what I was doing so for the most part, I admit, I slacked off a lot at my job and it showed I didn't care and I know that now looking back. I believe it was a good stepping stone for me to take because if I hadn't taken my shot at that I wouldn't ever appreciate being somewhere I wanted to be and might not have truly deserved to be there...at least in my opinion if you don't appreciate what you have you probably don't deserve to have it in the first place.
I guess I'm trying to say that now I've taken the steps to "Revive" my career I feel pretty good about moving ahead and where I'm going to be and I trust that no matter where the journey takes me I'll be happy along the way! :)

Well Being

Over the past few months I've been doing a lot of research into diets, detoxing, eating organic, eating vegetarian, and pretty much anything related to providing my body with better nutrients and having a goal of overall well being.

Today I took another step towards my goal and purchased two books that I'm extremely excited about reading tonight.
The first book is The Kind Diet By Alicia Silverstone



The basis of this book is about eating to better yourself and the world as well. The diet is based on a vegan lifestyle and it claims to help you "lost weight, feel great and save the planet" all at the same time.

My second purchase was French Women Don't Get Fat By Mireille Guiliano




The basis of this book is "how to enjoy food and stay slim and healthy" by "no guilt or deprevation but learning to get the most from the things you most enjoy" she includes recipes that promise to be indulgent without being fattening.

As I devour these books I will be writing about what I learn and how they help me follow my path of (as the lovely Oprah always says) Living My Best Life

Other books that I hope to "consume"

French Women for All Seasons Mireille Guiliano
French Women Dont Get Fat Cookbook Mireille Guiliano
Mastering the Art of French Cooking Julia Child
Julia's Kitchen Wisdom: Essential Techniques & Recipes From a Lifetime of Cooking Julia Child
Cook With Jamie Jamie Oliver
And any & all Giada De Laurentis cook books because I LOVE her Italian dishes!!

So here is my starting line...I'm officially beginning my journey to a better ME!

Be Green

This Thursday is Earth Day and I have to admit that this year is probably the first year since grade school where I took home and planted a tree in the yard, that I will be giving it more thought than just the usual acknowledging glance at the calendar. Over the past few months, as I stated in my lost entry, I've been trying to become more educated in my decisions that affect the world around me!
I'm becoming a lot more conscious of my affect and after many years of thinking "what's one person changing their ways really going to do to make an impact" I've realised how wrong I was to think that way. We are all responsible for the changes impacting our lives and our world, despite that we are a very densley populated community on our planet we all carry just as much importance as another. Each choice we make is a vote, if we continually purchase meat from our grocery stores... meat that usually comes from large factories owned by even larger coorporations who don't control the way the animals were raised or buchered then we are voting that we agree with animal abuse and neglect (at the least) in order to feed ourselves, however if we choose to do some research and buy local animals from farms and ranches in and around our city we are voting that we don't stand for this type of treatment.
Because of individuals standing up for the rights of animals, and in turn standing up for our rights - because really how healthy can an animal be for us to consume if it's not even healthy enough to stand on it's own legs in the "farm" before being butchered?? We now have more power than ever in the choice of how we eat and what we eat.
Large scale corporations that own food chain giants such as McDonalds and KFC continually employ workers who brutally beat the animals before they are killed and fed to us, these companies are able to turn a blind eye to this behaivor because of the money they are making off of the consumers... they're making a killing... literally. And it isn't even to our benefit as you all know the consumption of these types of foods only harm our bodies, they provide us no nourishment at all. But as long as we continue to go to these places and pay for the meals we are supporting them in doing this to animals to ourselves. I bet that none of these large scale company CEO's or the lesser would dare take a bite out of anything their own companies serve knowing how bad it is and where it's really coming from.

I want to pick up The Kind Diet by Alicia Silverstone so that I can further educate myself:



I am highly intrigued by this concept of living "the kind life" (I also signed up to The Kind Life at www.thekindlife.com) and I can't wait to dive into everything in this book.

It's such a revoloutionary idea for me to change everything I know and I am tip-toeing around the idea of becoming vegetarian... if not whole heartedly at least to the point where I will only consume locally farmed animals that I can be assured were living naturally and killed kindly... as kindly as one can be killed I suppose. Can I even say that? It sounds wrong....completely wrong...which is how, over the past while I've been feeling about everything I do.
I wouldn't kill my dog to eat, so why am I killing chickens and cows...why do I draw a line of difference? They all breath...they all feel...

So this, combined with so much more... is what will be filling my head for the next while. But I am going to try to do my part on Earth Day! Time to give back to the world that has held us over for so long after we continually abuse her...

Floating or Bloating

Have you ever felt that no matter how much you slept you could still use some shut eye? Or no matter how much coffee you drink you hit the "brick wall" every afternoon? Or no matter how hard you try exercising you're still left with little to no energy to push through your day?
I used to feel like that EVERY DAY and I couldn't figure out why, I went to the doctor, had blood tests done, tried exercising, tried a multi vitamin, you name it! But nothing seemed to work, just as I was about to write it off as a side effect to my prescriptions I decided to try one more thing, change my diet....and it worked!
I never ate overly unhealthy, it wasn't like I was going to McDonalds or having take out every week, so I never thought it would be an issue... but then I started reading Shape magazine (to get fit for the wedding) and there was an article "What could be making you tired" and it stopped me cold, slapped me in the face and shook me.
I always thought that because I ate healthy at meals it didn't matter what I ate in between so I would gorge on chips, chocolate, ice cream and anything else I craved at the moment and the worst part of that - I usually did it infront of the t.v. where I had a lack of attention on exactly how much I was putting into my mouth.
So I read this article and decided to try changing my ways!
I did really good for a week, I cut out sugars (except for fruits) cut out cream (and sugar) in my coffee and limited myself to one a day, cut out junk food completely and tried to refrain from carbohydrates...the week went alright, it was hard but I managed... I felt good but a tad drained... then that weekend I had McDonalds.
I have a love for McChickens...the breaded chicken, the mayo...the goodness! I scarfed it down like there was no tomorrow...and then about an hour later I realised there wouldn't be any "tomorrow" (in some way...) because I was puking my guts out for the rest of the night. And that was what it ACTUALLY took for me to start listening to my body.
I read up on a better diet, tips to stay healthy, detoxing and anything I could find. I started to do a food journal and write down everything I ate for each day to see where I was going wrong (which was as I said earlier, snacking!) and how to change it. I started substituting my snacks for healthy options and after a week once I had adjusted to this new way of eating I realised I didn't miss these empty carbohydrate filled snacks that would tempt me so much before, the very thought of most of them would make me visualize a lump of lard jiggling its way down to my thighs... not very attractive.
Week after week I started to feel better, compared to my previous state I would even say I felt GREAT! I had energy, I didn't want (or need) to nap anymore, I wanted to exercise when I had the time to and I wanted to play more with Aiden!
I still snack on junk food from time to time don't get me wrong and my love of pizza and pasta still linger on but I've learned that if I don't deprive myself from eating what I want (at a limit) I will be better at eating what I should.
One thing I have learned recently though, after a few months wondering why I still felt "fat" even though I had done so much to feel better made me realize that I was still missing a few things. Fibre & water being the major things lacking in my diet. Hence the "fat" feeling.... lack of fibre & water = bloating.
Thanks to some more changes in the vitamins & supplements area I don't feel so "fat" anymore, although this is a new change so I expect to really notice a difference in about a week or two...

One more thing I have to rave about is a documentary I watched called Food Inc.





It was another big eye opener for me to pay attention to what I eat based on WHERE it comes from. You would imagine that going to your grocery store and picking packages of beef, poultry or pork up to purchase that it would come from a farm where it freely grazes around with the other happy animals with no clue in the world that it would one day be eaten... but that at least when this were to happen it would be in a civilized manner... this isn't so anymore. I very much reccomend seeing this documentary as it will open your eyes to how horrible the industry has gotten and how money hungry they are... nobody cares about food safety or humane animal treatment at these large scale companies, they just want the money.
Because of this I try, whenever I can afford to, to buy local and buy from small farms or colonies. At least you can feel good knowing that your food came fresh and grew naturally and ISNT full of growth hormones and god knows what else...I would much rather buy from a farmer who chops the chickens heads off and watches them run around than from some sick large scale operating facility that torchures the animals while still alive.

So basically I feel better about everything I eat (for the most part!) because I pay more attention to every aspect of it now :)
I reccomend you do too!

Floral Findings...

Okay so I am in a heated debate with myself (yes, myself) regarding my wedding flowers. Originally I had my mind made up to get the bridal party flowers from a florist and the centerpiece and decoration flowers at wholesale to save money... well as weddings tend to go we are on dangerous territory of being over budget so in attempt to save money I thought I would just go with wholesale for all of the flowers.
Now...my worry is that something will go wrong. I was planning on ordering through costco and then I heard a horror story of how another bride did so and all of the blooms had broken off the stems! Or what if they mix up colors and I'm stuck with an atrocious brightly pink colored boquet which will definitely NOT work for me... I would probably cry if this were to happen... so then there would go my make up, there would go my happy mood and there would go my wedding day sanity. Oh the horror!!
Okay so in reality if something were to happen something could no doubt be done to fix it of course, I'm just being (a tad) over dramatic... but flowers are a big part of weddings! Even if my flowers aren't the most amazing ones I could find they should at least make me happy...

Is a rose, under any other name, really going to still smell as sweet?

Costco Rose vs. Florist Rose




You'll just have to wait and see how this battle commences... in 116 days! (unless of course I blog about it again)

Primp & Prime

I am beginning to think about the details of my wedding day; details including my hairstyle!

My vision is soft waves, a half-do, viel tucked in top and simple but beautiful... now becuase my hair is straight... and apparently REALLY likes to stay that way I am going to try playing around with a few different products to create this look in my head!





After some researching I am quite intrigued by Ojon Volumizing 2 minute hair mask





It promises to give volume as well as repair dry, damaged hair (which thanks to my un-natural hair hue I am in dire need of) and I even read a review from a fellow fine haired gal saying it was miraculous! This is definitely something I need to get my hands on.

Another bonus, aside from looking fabulous (I know you're probably thinking... what else could there possibly be?) is that Ojon is a eco-friendly company. The product is made from Ojon oil, a natural substance which is extracted from trees in Central America. The company works with a tribe in the area to ensure the protection of the rainforest and of it's people. So not only will you look great but you can feel great about buying it!

My second item of researching in the name of beauty is make up. A bride's make up is just as important as her dress for if the wrong products are chosen she could end up looking more like The Bride of Chucky...
As any bride would want; I am trying to achieve a look of flawlessness and radiance. For ideas and products I go to my ultimate beauty advisor Amy Nadine (www.amynadine.com) who does the glamorous Lauren Conrad as well as many other A-List celebrities. I love her simple looks and the fact that it's achievable when trying it out yourself.
My number one can't live without look for make up is a dramatic eye. I love a elegantly black (liquid) lined eyelid with thick and full eyelashes.
One thing I absolutely love about Amy Nadine is that she sponsers Mark cosmetics; for those of you who don't know Mark is the sister company of Avon (aimed at teen girls) and the make up line is not only great but the price is even greater and to have an amazing artist like Miss Nadine using the products to achieve great looks why look any further?!
So my must have products for eyes are:
Get in Line Waterproof Liner in Painted Black
Make it Big mascara in Raven

As for my cheek color I am not decided yet wether to use:
Stila Convertible Color in lillium
Clinique Fresh Bloom All Over Color in Peony
Nars blush in lustre
OR
A combination of Stila & Clinique's powder (both of which I already own) over top to achieve a subtle shimmer for summer!

Now on to lips...I am definitely a minimalist when it comes to lip color as my staple is Burts Bee's tinted balm in nude shimmer but of course for this special occasion I plan on upping the ante to one of the following...
Nadine reccomends Estee Lauder Pure Color Lipstick in Tiger Eye however I'm a tad afraid of a heavy lipstick and I came across another E.L. product called Pure Color Gloss Stick which sounds much more user friendly to me! Another option I like the sounds of is Clinique Soft Shine lipstick in Honey Gloss.




I like this look Amy Nadine has done on L.C. (minus the red lips)

I will have to spend many a tiring (hehe) trip to Sephora and make my final decisions accordingly... perhaps if I get around to it I will post a blog of my different "looks" complete with pictures!



116 Days ...

Goin' to the Chapel...

The weekend has passed and I must say I quite successfully ABOLISHED my To Do list... YAY!
The invitations came out beautiful, I have yet to put the finishing touches on them but my goal was only to get them addressed so I went above and beyond!!
Seeing the invitations make me feel like now it is officially coming, I knew it was coming before but now that we will be sending out the information to our guests it's like a confirmation that the wedding is drawing near!
Also I'm happy to announce that I have found the bridesmaid's dresses and they are beautiful and they were just the right price! It's all coming together perfectly if I do say so myself :)

Today at work I've been having a hard time thinking about anything other than finishing my invitations and thinking about what I can do this week... I'm finding it really hard to concentrate, luckily the day seems to be passing quickly so before I know it I'll be in bride mode again.

117 Days...

Flavors & Flowers & Favors ... Oh My!

The countdown is dwindling down... we are now at 4 months! YIKES!

I have an enourmous list of To Do's that I am whacking away at daily, I will admit that at this point I'm still feeling pretty confident about everything working out! I get so super excited when it comes to brainstorming ideas for decorations or invitations and flower arrangments... it is an endless list of FUN things! If I could just plan weddings for a living I think it would be pretty cool... minus working with bridezillas and having to cater to other peoples demands all the time... so I will just really enjoy doing mine and help anyone who is next... :)

So my grand theme for the wedding is Garden Party.
My vision is:
Lots of white flowers (and other subdued colors...pastels), lots of greenery, tiny white twinkle lights, candles and some lanterns with candles in them, white linens, lace details... oh the beauty!
I want it to be simple but to feel extravegant! Cheap but Chic! I want a definite WOW factor... an unforgettable day/night for everyone involved!

So at the top of my list right now is:
Invitations - addressing, printing, mailing out
Bridesmaid Dresses - pick out & purchase
Florist - pick florist & place order, order bulk flowers from Costco
Favors - purchase

I have wedding on the brain all day everyday, it has literally taken over my train of thought! Having been engaged for almost 3 years now makes this seem a tad surreal, like I've been planning and waiting so long that I can't believe it's really almost here!
I can't wait to have my dress on and to be walking down the aisle... looking my best and having the best people surrounding me!

Hopefully this weekend I will tackle my to do's and move on to the next ones... Wish me luck!

Tell Me What You Want

Yes this is indeed my second post of the day...

Sometimes I believe I have somewhat of a split persona when it comes to what I like.
I have days where I wish to be nowhere but a cozy little cabin like shack, snuggled in heaps of blankets with a good book and a roaring fire but other days I have the yearning to be in the city amid the noise and hustle and bustle itself wandering around with no goal in mind except to feed my curiosity.
On days like today I want to be down town. I want to be roaming the busy streets, shoulder to shoulder to complete strangers with a venti latte in one hand and a handful of shopping bags in the other... I miss the energy and the thrill of being out there and making a last minute decision to stop in for a bite to eat and find out that this little cubby hole of a diner is going to become my new absolute favorite spot. Or in the midst of window shopping have something catch your eye that you would never in a million years even think of owning but it becomes the most precious piece in your entire wardrobe collection...
Yes I do realize these are very materalistic things I want and miss at the moment but in all honesty my life has not been even one ounce materalistic for awhile... I can't even remember the last time I went shopping for myself out of the want rather than the need. And this isn't a bad thing, it doesn't make me feel less fulfilled because my closet isn't if anything I feel I have connected to much more meaningful things in my life lately.
However there will always be a part of me who likes things... unique, pretty, wonderful things ... and of course the time spent finding them.


On another note (because I'm so bored at work that I can't force myself into another game of solitaire)

It is almost incomprehensible to me that my son... my little boy... is turning 3 years old in a matter of months! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

It seems only days ago he was just learning to walk now he is carrying on full conversations with anyone who will listen, the sucky is gone, he sings his A,B,C's and he has a favorite movie.... I just can't believe how fast the time really does fly.
And you can say it over and over again but it never loses its weight... time flies! Life creeps up on you bit by bit and when you finally realize it a year has passed... or 3!

Before I was pregnant my biggest fear was babies... I wouldn't hold them if offered, I might give a small coo towards one if my mom was busy oggling but never would i offer up so much enthusiasm on my own.
To me babies were scary, they were fragile and noisy messy and dirty!
Then I found out I would soon be a mother, all of that changed. I learned to appreciate and actually become amazed by the miracle of a being growing inside me, the most amazing experience I've ever felt was to feel my baby squirming around... MY baby, my son.
Now he's a toddler, I'm realizing I can't protect him from everything I wish I could... I'm realizing that I have to let go little by little so that he can grow up and be strong willed and independant ... I'm realizing how hard it is to do that.
I love being a mom.
I love having a family, I love knowing I have a partner in being a parent and that I will always have someone by my side to help me and figure it out with me. People always say how hard it is to keep a relationship going when you have children, I am definitely not disagreeing but I will say that once I learned that we were in it together (which I know sounds pretty obvious but for me it wasn't at first) and that we needed each other as well as our son to keep our relationship strong.
So as we come up to our little man's third birthday party and I conjure up ideas in my head of how to make it a fun one I can't help but be a little sad that the baby days really are gone and he needs me less and less each year... but at the same time I have so much I look forward to as he continues to grow!
I can't wait for this fall, we're starting him in his first group class... probably karate! Maybe an art class too :)
There is just so much out there to look forward to... so I'll try to remember this as I fondly look back!

What Lies Ahead

After many years of contemplation and procrastinating I've finally decided to go back to school... its funny to me, thinking that since graduating I've done nothing that I've actually wanted to do. At this point in my life I envisioned having it "together" career-wise. However I also didn't plan on having a child until my mid 20's ... but that's a completely different story.

Why do we let life get in the way of our goals?

I'm starting school in fall, and while this is a groundbreaking experience for me it should have been a choice that I made years ago... say after my 1 year "break" from finishing high school. 1 year turned into 5 years... which is ok, I'm still here and doing what I originally wanted to but why did I wait so long?

It didn't matter how many people were rooting for me to do something, people who believed that I could achieve more than I was giving myself credit for. I chose to ignore them, I chose to stubbornly believe that I was destined for a mundane job just so I could afford to pay the bills. And maybe it was meant to take me this long, maybe I had to spend those years in those jobs that I hated to really understand and appreciate where I would eventually end up.

I do believe everything happens for a reason, in life there are no miracles... you make your destiny.

YOU and only you are responsible for your happiness.

So as I sit here in my temporary chair at my temporary cubicle answering phone calls I admit I feel a sense of contentment, a sense of excitement even for what lies ahead, for I finally know that I am taking a step towards a better and more fulfilled life... it feels good!

Beauty 2 Go

How to be Au Natural in the Great Outdoors



Summertime for me means a lot of camping but just because I'm playing off my inner Daniel Boone it doesn't mean I want to look like him.
No matter where I am I stay true to my skin regimen.
- washing my face twice a day (am/pm)
- following with moisturizer **Daytime moisturizer must have SPF!! this is very important especially when spending your time outdoors, unless you want to grow up looking like an old leather bag then SPF should be a must.**
My personal favorite skin care line is Clinique's 3 step system.
I am also a big fan of St.Ives face moisturizer (and you can't go wrong with the price!)


Those are my two steps that I never stray from to keep my skin healthy and glowing. If you are like me and don't tan (again... keep the leather bag lady at bay) then a moisturizer with some shimmer or 'touch of sun' is always a nice way to keep from looking washed out.
I don't like to advise wearing a lot of make up in the summer months and even less when it comes to camping.
If you must wear something stick to a sheer coverage foundation or better yet a tinted moisturizer. I love Clinique's Almost Makeup (BONUS - it has SPF!)
And in my mind you can never go wrong with some mascara, wherever you may be. I like Maybelline Volume Express Waterproof mascara in black.
Aside from some lip balm (also with an SPF) that is what my beauty arsenal consists of when I'm enjoying the wilderness. You want to stick with a no fuss, no muss routine. Get up and go!


Good things always come to an end, your weekend... your holiday whatever it may be, you are now at home and perhaps feeling a tad grungy from all that smoke in your face and lack of a proper shower! Don't fret, you can de-gunk, un-clog and re-fresh yourself fabulous:
1. Follow your typical face-wash & toner routine
2. And one of the following
Apply a face mask (My top picks are Aveda Clay Mask & LUSH Mask of Magnaminty)
OR you can use a great exfoliator (I can't live without LUSH Angels on Bare Skin - it won't dry out your skin)
3. And lastly of course... moisturize!


You should now feel sqeaky clean and fabulous! Welcome Home ;)

REAL Beauty

Look In the Mirror & Like What You See

It's easier said than done, the struggle with conforming into what society deems as beauty is a war we've been fighting a long time. However with powerful influences (Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty) breaking out of the sidelines to rescue us and repair our damaged self-images we may still have hope!
Real is Beauty.
This is the message that Dove hopes to spread into the minds of young women who are the brunt of media's "attack" on image. You don't have to be one size, one shape, one hair color or one skin color to be beautiful. I wish I had this information when I was growing up...
Although it's hard to fight the influences and hard to erase what we have set in our minds it's still doable and I am so passionate and happy that this giant company is doing something about it for all of us, of every age!
So although my ideas are still evolving...heck our ideas should always be evolving! I want to speak my mind about the aspects of beauty. Inner and outer. I want to touch base on everything from fashion to make up to what YOU see in yourself and how to improve that image (and those feelings) in your head for good!
So there it is. The concept behind Be Beauty. Because it is you!