Back In the Groove

I had an interview today at an office... originally I really didn't think I wanted to work in an office... ever again. But after this interview I feel like I have a newfound opinion... there were times were I would think back on my previous jobs and feel as if maybe I wasn't good enough for them and that's why they didn't work out... I would think about things I may have done wrong and things I regretted and decided that I wasn't made for that type of work but after thinking about it more I think I realize that isn't the case, it wasn't the work or being in an office it was the places that I wasn't made for.

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason so in my opinion I went through what I did and went where I did because I had to experience different things to be able to determine what I wanted and what would be a good fit for me.
For different reasons I wasn't a good fit at my other jobs and that's why I'm not still working at those places... I have the opportunity now to find a place that would work for me. Somewhere that I feel like I belong, somewhere that I can be equally important as an employee and a mother and wife... so basically I need balance. That is a major factor to me in finding a career. Working where I have in the past there wasn't the balance I felt I needed, I get the impression that where I had my interview today would be somewhere I could have that balance. Work and life. Somewhere that understands beyond work hours I have a life and a family that is important to me and I need to work for a company that values that. I have always been a determined person, I will work my butt off to prove myself in whatever it is I choose and I feel like this opportunity would be perfect for me.

Another thing I have realized is that in the past I did not have my priorities straight, I do believe that if my life was totally different than what it is now I would still be working for the Oil company I started at because my goals then were just to excel in my career. My career was my only goal and money was my only object of affection. However things changed and my object of affection is my husband and son and my goal is to be the best I can be for my family.
I need a company that understands family comes first, in saying that I also need a company where it will become my second "family" and because of that it will be a priority to me as well but never again will my work come before my family.

I think I also needed to remind myself that I'm worth it. It may sound lame or... odd to say that but because of my past I started feeling that I wasn't good enough or smart enough to take on certain positions and more than likely because I had those insecurities I was not chosen for those positions. So I've been working on reminding myself that I do have a lot to offer and I'm worth taking a chance on for the right company and the right team... I am not just good enough but I'm great! :)

I really think that I have come to realize a lot in the last few months being unemployed, all for the better too. For example before I would always on some level think 'there has to be more to life than this' (meaning work) and I didn't understand why that was how I had to define myself and why I felt I had to settle for doing something I didn't enjoy where I used to perceive that was why all women took office jobs... because we are good at them and not because we enjoy them, however after a few conversations with my Mom about that concept I realized that isn't true. Everyone has their skills and if you find a position that allows you to put those skills to use and to challenge yourself you will be happy. So I've come to realize what some of my skills are and looking back I know I did enjoy doing most aspects of my work in past office jobs it was just the circumstances around the work I wasn't enjoying. I have also become aware of the fact that I am not made to be a stay at home mother. I love my son dearly and of course there are some pretty sweet bonuses with being home with him like being able to play with him, watch him grow up, wear my pj's all day but it's not easy and it takes a lot of energy and creativity and I have come to learn that I need to be in an adult environment to thrive... I need the socialization and I need to be challenged mentally and I need to do things that are for me and define myself as something other than Mom. Because of this I know I need to get back in the groove... and ultimately this decision is about my family because it's about supporting them financially and being a better Mom/Wife when I am with them due to the fact that I'm getting what I need to do so.

What a Waste

Somedays I feel like time is going in slow motion... and I'm wasting it. I feel like I am not productive and as if I'm holding my family back due to my unemployment. I love to be home with my son but I feel as if I'm lazy and I worry that sometimes D may be resentful if I wasn't entirely productive one day where as he spent a full day working. Sure I have EI - for now, but that's not a life... it's not income it's support and I don't want support I want to be the supporter.

Sometimes I think that I should chase my dreams and create something that I love so that way I can enjoy going to work everyday... but then reality slaps me in the face and I realize that we have a mortgage to pay now and despite that I would love to do certain things on my own it probably isn't the smartest move I could make at this time in my life.

It's almost like there is an inner conflict going on ... part of me says to stop being afraid of chasing my dreams and the other part says stop being stupid and get your head out of the clouds. After all it isn't just about me, my dreams aren't just about my happiness with my career they are about my family being happy and being able to give them opportunities... money really does make the world go round.

Sorry for this depressing post but sometimes life aint all sunshine and lollipops...

Winter, Where are You?

I can't believe it is already November! It hardly looks or feels like it outside; the sun is bright and warm and the winds are blowing in a chinook... not quite November weather, call me crazy but I am looking forward to the first snowfall.

I'm not looking forward to the cold...or the freezing prairie winter winds... but I love the majestic look of the first snowfall where everything is blanketed in a layer of white.

Plus aside from the aesthetics of winter's beauty I'm really excited for the adventures it will bring too. Tobogganing and making snowmen, skiing and skating, this will be the first year I think Aiden will be able to really enjoy these things so I can't wait!

Closet Wonders

Every now and then I have the urge to put on something cute and stylish, something out of the ordinary (my ordinary which consists of sweat pants) 

Today was one of those days. And if you look at this picture and think "what is she talking about those are sweat pants aren't they?" then I would say NO THEY ARE LEGGINGS AND THAT IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT!

And then I would tell you to look at how awesomely awesome my shirt is!

And then I would tell you to ignore the water spatter on my mirror and pretend that it's clean.

I bought this shirt a few years ago... actually almost 5 years ago from Zara and it is one of my most favorite! I love Matryoshka dolls!

For anyone who doesn't know Matryoshka dolls are those little wooden dolls that have smaller dolls inside of them and I think they are fabulous!

Some people in the past have given me strange looks when they see me in this shirt but I don't care because it makes me happy and I think that's what fashion should be. It doesn't matter what is happening on the runways of Paris or Italy, if you find signature pieces that you feel good in that's all that matters! Plus I am definitely one for looking good but not blowing your budget, I think this shirt was maybe $30.
 Speaking of Paris I have a thing for the city (despite never have gone there myself) which is why I was excited to find this shirt:

"I Adore Paris

The City of Love"

$7... that's right I said 7 bucks!

Nice Buns Betty

Because I have decided recently that I want to be like Martha Stewart (minus the jail time and monotone voice) and be an excellent homemaker I took a mini kitchen adventure yesterday and made me some dinner rolls!

Here are the little devils before oven time

And after

And here they are resting on my counter

This was my first ever attempt at baking buns as I've never made any type of bread with an exception for banana bread... it was experimental but I admit they turned out quite good!

I thought maybe I did something wrong because they were so small but I followed the directions to the T and then I asked Mom (because Mom's know all) and she said dinner rolls are supposed to be smaller than regular buns so I said alrighty, smothered a baby bun with budda and chowed down!

Here is a picture of my cute little kitchen just for the fun of it!

My Pledge to Pledge

I have a new savior that I must pledge my love for...

I know, how witty I am! A pledge for Pledge! But enough about me this post (my second of the day! I know I just said enough about me but ... well I lied) is to tell the world my newfound love affair with Pledge Multi Surface because it truly is amazing!

Because my new home has lovely appliances and those lovely appliances are in beautiful stainless steel and that beautiful stainless steel has a magnetic pull to my son's dirty fingerprints I had to roll up my sleeves and do some testing in the name of cleanliness (and sanity because I admit that the sight of dirty fingerprints all over the fridge made me cringe every day...)

The first product that I tried was Windex (I know it seems weird but when I was working for a cleaning company we actually did use this on almost EVERYTHING in the show homes) and the results... crap! It didn't cut through the greasy prints at all even after I gave it a little elbow grease.

The second product (home made option) was vinegar and water. The results for this...crap again!

Finally I broke down and bought something that wasn't already in my cupboard and THIS is what I came home with...

And the results?

This is an AWESOME product and after it single handedly tackled the mess on my fridge I then moved on to the hood fan, my stove top (which is induction) and even my wood entertainment unit! I was ecstatic and on a roll so naturally I had to go on a cleaning spree and the whole house got a taste of my wrath... so with that here is my pledge:

Dearest Pledge Multi Surface, 

I Kendra vow to use you to work magic on my household for many years to come. 

Love yours truly.

Soup-er!

I HAVE to write about how absolutely delicious the soup I made yesterday was... and after you read this you HAVE to make it!!

First of all there is a reason I made this delectable soup which is where I will start; on our semi-honeymoon me and D spent the day touring around and we stopped at this quaint cafe off the highway for lunch where I had Cream of Potato & Bacon soup and it was SO good that I could have died! (Yes I realize I exaggerate a lot...) SO of course I wanted to make it which is exactly what I did yesterday and here is the recipe:

Cream of Potato Soup With Bacon

6 strips of bacon, diced

1 onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, chopped

4-5 large potatoes, cubed

6 cups chicken broth

1/2 cup sour cream

1/2 cup grated cheese (i like marble)

1 bay leaf

Salt & Pepper

Chives (for topping)

In a large frying pan cook bacon until crisp, put on paper towel lined plate. Reserve 2 tbsp of cooking fat from bacon and put in large soup pot.

Add onion and garlic to pot and cook for 12 min on med heat. Add potatoes broth and bay leaf; cook on med-high until potatoes soften, 15 minutes or so. Once soft take potato masher and mash potatoes in pot. Add sour cream, bacon, salt & pepper and bring soup to boil, reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes (soup will thicken during this time)

Serve topped with grated cheese & chives.

I promise you this soup is SO yummy and it's an awesome (and easy) comfort food when it's cold outside! I took some pictures but I'll be honest my camera isn't the best and I'm not very talented at picture taking so they don't fully do it justice but when I figure out how to load them I will put them on here for a visual.

This weekend I'm making Italian Wedding soup for my Daddy's Birthday (his favorite!) so I will post that one if all goes well!

French Trumps Kind

You may remember that a few months ago I attempted to change my diet and eliminate red meats as well as eat healthier and with conscience. I thought I should update what has become of that decision... you may be able to tell from the title of this entry which way I was swayed (that is if you did read my past entries on the books that influenced my decision - French Women Don't Get Fat & The Kind Diet but if not the result of my "experiment" is) eating vegetarian just didn't work for me.

For awhile I was doing really well, I had cut out red meat from my diet completely and I was flirting with vegetarian foods and soy milks and cutting out sugars and I felt a lot better (inside) from even just a few small changes I could tell a big difference in my digestion and there was even a difference in how I felt after eating - not being bloated or having indigestion or simply not having that feeling of having over eaten but still feeling an emptiness in the pit of my stomach. All together it was pretty good, the downfall of my efforts came in a few forms:

The first form was money; it is very expensive to eat with a conscience... when you buy meats that are fed and raised properly although it makes you feel better about eating it your wallet is drained every time.

Buying organic fruits and vegetables are another big expense of eating vegetarian, even without buying organic I found I spent a lot of money on my fruits and veggies and I struggled to find meal plans for them and ended up throwing a lot away at the end of the week which was not something I enjoyed doing... I struggled making meals for the family to keep them happy as well as keep my goals in mind.

The second form of my downfall was that I really missed eating meat. Having a love for cooking it was a very hard adjustment eliminating beef from my diet and recipes although I did replace a lot of my ground beef recipes with ground turkey and they turned out pretty good but for some things it just wasn't the same... and after awhile of feeling deprived I just decided it wasn't worth it

Life is short and I don't want to spend mine feeling guilty for eating a certain way or feeling deprived while surrounded by others who are enjoying their burgers and steaks and I munch on a salad... or a very disgusting "mock-sausage" *shudder*

Its not to say that I didn't come away from this without learning anything, now that I know how my body reacts to the foods I put into it I know I need to limit my red meat intake and being an animal lover I of course want to do my part in whatever way I can to support local farmers and choose meats that were raised in a healthy environment with as little hormones injected as possible. 

Lucky for us Albertan's we have access to good quality beef that is properly raised on farms around our Province which helps us promote local farming as well.

I want to be a smart consumer (literally and figuratively) and I do want to be healthy; this has opened my eyes to eating with health in mind above anything else which I think is of great importance especially when it comes to making meals for my son and teaching him how to eat properly.

Wednesday I made my favorite beef soup (which you can find the recipe for tagged in my Wellbeing entries) and I enjoyed every last spoonful of it! 

That was the first beef meal I made and consumed since my attempts to go vegetarian and I had no remorse for my decision. 

For anyone who is vegetarian or vegan I give you my praise as anyone who lives in such a way is no doubt very strong willed. 

For the rest of us who aren't (or simply just don't care about this debate and love their meats) I have but one request - eat smart, savor your food and 

Bon Appetite!

Home SWEET Home

I have some BIG news... drum-roll please...

I am a homeowner!!

Me and D have just purchased our first home in a lovely, quaint and small town.

At first I was very hesitant on moving to such a small place, never having lived anywhere very small ever it seemed like it might be a big transition to make and being 40 minutes from our family and friends was a bit of a daunting thought but here I am two weeks into the small town life and I love it!

It is so lovely here and despite the mountains being my favorite place to be I am quite content in this prairie town.

You can hear the cows 'Moo' from the fields throughout the day which has become as equivocal as the sound of sirens back home. I doubt I've ever slept in such silence (except for camping) and I definitely have never felt so safe. There is such a feeling of community here and although I've only yet met our neighbour I'm confident that we will make some great friends too.

Also, because it was something I always spoke (complained) about before I have to state that I finally feel at home. 

This house is our home and I don't think there is a greater feeling than knowing you have somewhere to call yours... okay there are greater feelings but it is pretty awesome!

Me and D have already made our plans for future renovations and redecorating and it's so much fun to know you can actually do what you want and nobody else can say otherwise.

Another perk of buying outside the city is our mortgage is so much less than it would have been there, we can afford to LIVE, to do what we want and enjoy the things we normally do without worrying about our budget.

I highly recommend it to anyone stuck in the rat race wanting to get out!

I have to sign off now as I am currently in the process of stealing internet connection and I'm afraid I will be caught and the whole town will hate me... or at least my neighbour.

Fab Faves of Fall

Aside from the fact that Fall is my FAVORITE season and I can never get enough of the picture perfect back drop that Nature presents to us this time of year there are a few other things I quite enjoy about it... some old and some new, that I would like to share with you:

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte

This is my all time favorite latte from Starbucks, it's delicious and reminds me of Thanksgiving... which brings me to my next fave...

Thanksgiving Dinner



I love comfort foods and I love spending quality time with my family, the combination of the two is perfect!

Although this picture does not showcase the typical foods MY family has, with a Ukranian background we typically swap out potatoes for perogies and veggies for sour cabbage rolls! YUM!

Leggings

They're everywhere right now and with a price of around $15 you really can't go wrong with this seasons "it" item. I love the look of them paired with a sweater-dress and I'm excited to say I picked up my first pair on the weekend! 

Boots

I'm getting a tad tired of wearing Ugg knock-offs so instead this season I intend to invest in a nice pair of flat soled boots that will still keep my footsies warm but also provide me with a level of style.

Sweaters

I love love LOVE sweaters!

They are my wardrobe staple through the Fall and Winter months, to me nothing is better than being cozy and cute in a knitted piece (also pairs well with leggings...) 

This one above is from Zara.

My last fave is *drumroll*

Vintage Inspired Clothes

On my trip to buy leggings I came across this super cute dress at Dynamite.

I love the vintage vibe it has with the perfect mix of classy and elegant, I noticed the vintage trend in quite a few other stores too which I am definitely digging right now!

It's All in the Details...

As promised here are some of the details of the Wedding...

Our Invitations:

I wanted something simple but still elegant;

I found the pre-cut white invitations which came with the eyelet cut pattern on the bottom and the small white bows.

I purchased the "Love" stamp at the craft store to add a bit extra and printed them at home.

Our Programs:

I purchased white card paper and vintage inspired scrapbooking paper as well as white ribbon from the craft store.

I made the programs booklet style with 4 pages and printed them off in the same font as I used for our invitations.

I included a little story on how we met and Derek's proposal as well as some pictures of us through the years.

Ceremony Ritual:

Part of our ceremony included a ritual where each guest took a stone as they entered the Ceremony hall, they were instructed to write an intention on the stone for us and our marriage.

The Dress(es):

My gown was ivory with a lace overlay, the detailing in the lace was done in spun gold which gave the dress a sheen to it and a little extra.

The Bridesmaids wore navy blue dresses with flower details on the left side under the bust.

Something Blue:

I wore Manolo Blahnik's Something Blue shoes (as seen in S&C movie)

{Something Borrowed - Grandmothers cuff bracelet

Something Old - Earrings Derek gave me as a gift

Something New - Garter}

The Ceremony Location:

Shawnessy Barn provided our rustic and unique backdrop to our Ceremony.

The Decor:

The Barn was decorated with twinkle lights, faux white and navy blue roses as well as strung lanterns and candles lining the aisle runner.

Grand Enterance:

My Daddy walked me down the aisle, coming in from the big double door enterance at the back which faced the park.

We hired a violinist to play as well.

Pictures:

Done by a talented family friend we took some pictures in the park behind the Barn as well as some in the rustic strip mall of Bragg Creek where our Reception was held.

I took this picture on the morning of the Wedding,

my makeup sponges were stuck together like this:

There you have it, some of the details that made our Wedding Day what it was!

Inspirational

Once again Lady O has served up a bit of inspiration my way. I've always been a fan of Oprah herself and I'm usually not a big fan of the high profile interview shows but the other day I had a moment to myself (Aiden asleep) and I was able to curl up infront of the tellie and watch her show where she had J.K. Rowling in a private interview.
For those of you who live under a rock she is the author of the Harry Potter series.

I watched in silence through the entire show and I felt as if J.K.R. were almost speaking directly to me... I know how corny that sounds belive me but I truly felt the weight of every word she spoke resignating within.

For as long as I can recall I wanted to be a writer; at first I wanted to write songs and then it became poetry and then for awhile I wanted to write editorial but in between and more now than ever I have always wanted to be a novelist.
I've dreamed of the day my writing would be published and fall into the hands of many people eager to dissolve into my stories. I want to be able to capture something that people sit back and say "wow" as they stick thier book mark in between pages.
And corny as it sounds I've always dreamed that I would meet Oprah by making the bestsellers list!


But back to the inspirational Ms. Rowling - One thing she said in the interview that stuck with me was a piece from her 2008 commencement speech for Harvard University:

"I've often met people who are terrified—you know, in a straitjacket of their own making—because they'd rather do anything than fail. They don't want to try for fear of failing," she says. "[Hitting] rock bottom wasn't fun at all—I'm not romanticizing rock bottom—but it was liberating. What did I have to lose?"

In hearing that statement it hit me that my problem is fear. I suppose in the back of my mind I've always known this and when I told D this fact he pretty much stared at me with a look like "I could have told you that" but for some reason hearing this from her mouth, from somebody who's been there and gone through the process of being turned down and finally reaching the top... someone who didn't have any schooling to back up her creditials to write this book that became a phenomenon ... it made me sit back and think "I could do that too".
To once again quote Jo, when O asked if she'd always wanted to be a writer or if she'd always known she would be she replied that writing has always been a part of her and when she didn't write she felt lost.
I can relate to that having always had a journal and writing this blog and the many attempts at story writing I've made I can truly say that writing is in my blood. In response O said 'that's how you know you were born to do it' and in hearing that I felt shaken to the core... despite being told I am good at it and being told I should persue it I just never gave myself enough credit to say Ok but somehow in hearing that statement I felt like a wave of "Duh" (for lack of a better way to put it) slammed me back into the couch. Perhaps THIS is what I am meant to do.
This is the answer I've been looking for all along.

I don't in a million years believe that I would ever be at the status J.K.R. is, being the first billionaire author! But I do have a hope in me that I could have a book out there and even if only one person were to buy it and be touched by my story that would be enough for me (even if that one person were my own Mother!)

So I've decided that I shouldn't hold back anymore from trying to reach my dreams. Next time I have a good idea I'm going to work with it, even it takes me years to go from start to finish I will persevere and I will believe in myself. As Jo said "The hardest part will be to get published" and I know that will stand true but if I can do that I can prove to myself that dreams come true.

Don't Sweat It

I've once again fallen into what I like to refer to as the "sweatpant slump" - maybe it's from being un-employed or maybe I am just lazy or maybe I don't care to the same degree that I used to... but here I am in full out "sweats" attire which has become my go to for day to day, my *gasp* wardrobe staple even!

As I said this isn't the first time comfort has taken cute's place; referring back to my maternity leave days which I use as an excuse, but really... isn't it? Isn't it normal to be fairly sloppily dressed while carrying around a newborn who spits up after every meal and who also might pee on you? Ok so that was then, this is now and now my son has the ability to entertain himself for more than 5 minutes while I get dressed however I still only take 5 minutes... and it usually shows...

Maybe it's a Mom thing. Maybe that's an excuse we tell ourselves while we allow our inner lazy procrastinator to take over (all the while resenting every other Mom we see out and about who looks amazingly put together...effortlessly)

At least I can take comfort in knowing I may have traded 7s for sweats but I will NEVER own Mom jeans (The super unflattering cut, high waisted ones that make your ass look as flat as a pancake and stretch from your waist to your knees) And that in itself is good enough for me for now!

Aisle Running

9 Days left before THE DAY.... 10 sleeps... or 9 sleeps and 1 very short period of somewhat rest because I will be too excited and too stressed about making sure everything is perfect that my eyes will barely close for an hour!

Last night was my final dress fitting, my beautiful gown is now hanging up expectantly waiting for me to slip into it again and it's taking everything out of me to stop myself from sitting infront of it admiringly all day long (or just to put it on again, and again...) but last night, standing there infront of the 180 degree mirror with my hair & make up done, my dress on, my veil pinned and everything in place I felt like everything was perfect.
I knew I had picked the right dress, the right accessories, the right look... it was PERFECT!
I feel reassured that our wedding will be perfect, the details have been taken care of and in my opinion what they say is true "it's all in the details".

Once this maddness is over and I'm back home with nothing to do (but find a job...) I promise to post pictures! I'm especially excited to post pictures of the invitations and programs that I made myself, I'm quite proud of them and a part of me wishes I could just make stuff like that for a living... hmmmm!

So this is most likely my bid adieu until the big day... Wish me luck!

Tick Tock

Time is running out - in 46 days I will be walking down the aisle in my beautiful wedding dress towards my best friend and vowing to spend the rest of my days with my heart in his hands!

As I am uber excited and as I am enourmously anitcipating the big day I am I also have to admit I'm a bit stressed about getting everything done in time! I know that I will but stress is what I do best!

I feel prepared in the sense of having everything... okay having mostly everything I need and being pretty organized throughout the whole preperation period which definitely helps to dimish my stress and worry but in the end I can't fight it completely and I'm still somewhat a wreck in my head.

One thing I am worried about is my size, what if I've gained weight and I don't fit my dress right?
Because I am a procrastinator and I almost never stick to any goals I make I of course did not adhere to my weight loss & get fit plan. Instead I just made myself feel guilty everytime I had ice cream or something that I said I would avoid in order to look my best. I most definitely don't look my best and my fear at this time is the 2 weeks spent in BC which will be spent in a bathingsuit 99.9% of the time and all I can envision is my stomach that is less than perfect and most certainly not the tight and toned tummy I was hoping to have by this time of the year. Once again my work out plans have failed and I've let myself down... if I can't even uphold a routine to look my best for the BIGGEST DAY OF MY LIFE then when will be able to? Most likely .... ummm... never!

So while I wallow in the self pity of my lack of drive I will ignore the fact that I ate a donut this morning and tell myself I am doing a good job. *Pat on the back*

The other night I was so down on myself that I made a new resolution to run 5km twice a week to try to maintain my weight ... well I haven't yet, not that it's too late... I have about 5 weeks until the wedding and in that time it is entirely possible that I can turn back the last 6 months of doing nothing but I would have to do ALOT more than only work out 2 times a week to look the way that I was planning to look by now.
Again not impossible but... can I do it? Can I stick to something for once?

I am going to get off the computer now - get off my butt and attempt to go on the treadmill. This is what I say but it is entirely possible that I get off the computer and decide to avoid any type of exercise and just go home to do more packing and cleaning. At least it's some type of exertion right?

Well I will go now and in 46 days everyone will be able to see what choice I made today.

Meat-ing Standards

Last night I made spagetti - we are a family who loves our pasta - and one thing I admit to missing is the bolognese sauce I used to make to top it off with but the sauce was made with ground beef so therefore I haven't made it, but last night I made somewhat of a bolognese alternative with Tofurky.

What is Tofurky you ask? Well it is a "meat substitute" made from tofu - last night we tried the Italian Sausage Tofurky and I must say it was delicious!

I browned up the 'sausages' in a pan with olive oil, crimini mushrooms, onion, garlic and red pepper.

I then let it simmer in a tomato basil sauce for about 15 minutes. YUM!

After we got half way through our meals I asked Derek how he liked it;

He said it was good, I told him it was Tofurky sausage and he said he knew and then I asked:

"Does it meet your expectations?"

to which he replied

"It doesn't 'meat' anything"

And we laughed...

That is my story of our first experience with tofu.

Trash The Dress

There is a new obsession for brides and photographers alike called "Trash the Dress"

It's a day after the wedding photo shoot where the Bride gets 'down and dirty' in her wedding gown - in some cases completely ruining the gown!

Here is a picture below I took off of a website called Trash the Dress dedicated to this very concept 

And another... this one is most definitely TRASHED

Now I'm all for photography that is artistic and expressive, something unique and a tad risque is always fun too but... trashing your wedding dress? I just don't know that this is something I could or would ever do...

I get the idea behind it, you wear it for one day and then it's shoved in a garment bag in your closet for years and in this day and age Daughters typically don't wear their Mothers (or Grandmother's) wedding gown anymore but... I just don't think I could burn the dress that I fell in love with for my wedding day... I just don't!

I am however pretty turned on to the idea of having a photo shoot done with me in my dress the day after - or sometime after the wedding. Something with a magazine - editorial feel that doesn't scream "Bride to be" but rather a dramatic, sensual, look at my beautiful dress type shoot.

Something like this would be my inspiration

I want to know what you think - would/should you trash your dress??

When It Rains... It Pours

Today is one of my favorite types of days, it's raining outside (a warm spring rain) making everything that has recently greened up look so beautiful and the newly bloomed flowers smell so fragrant... everyone is feeling the slow pace due to the weather, I have a large cup of wonderfully aromatic chai tea at my side and I can't wait to get home and relax underneath a warm blanket and read!

Call me crazy, call me zany, but I love spring time and I LOVE rain!

I have nothing against a hot summer day in the sunshine, but there is something about the rainy days of spring that make me feel just right about ... well everything!

Some days are made for porch sitting and lemonade sipping and that's great, but days like today are made for couch snuggling and tea drinking... one of my favorite combinations and the very reason I cannot wait until my shift is done so I can do exactly that.

I only wish I had a fabulous pair of rubber boots like these to make my way through the puddles in:

And of course a nifty umbrella:

Coincidentally I found this online and I actually own one exactly the same!

Let It Rain, Let It Rain, Let It Rain!

Confessions of Crazy

Have you ever heard that if you can draw a perfect circle by hand it means you are crazy?

Well I just wanted to let you all know that I am most likely crazy - I'm not claiming to being able to draw the perfect circle but I am admitting to the fact that I randomly draw circles on my note pad all day long at work. Why? I do not know... Crazy? Most likely...

I just wanted to put that out there.

Beat It

After spending my long weekend camping in the beautiful surroundings of the mountains in Kananaskis I'm not having an easy time adjusting to work today (or the early morning wake up call from my alarm - in fact I think I'm still half asleep)
I had such a great weekend with the family and our friends and I definitely can't wait for the next trip! :)

One thing about my weekend that wasn't so great was my diet, I completely fell off the wagon (Again!) and it was horrible.
I brought some veggie burgers for my meals and thought that would work out for me just fine but being my first camping trip without meat it turned out not to be, I slipped up and ate a few pieces of beef kabob - my first taste of beef in over a month! Then I had a hot dog... then bacon for breakfast... then another hot dog at lunch, pork kabob for dinner, more bacon at breakfast, and a smokie the morning we left... I overdosed on red meat after being off of it for one month.

The saddest part is I didn't even really want to eat it, it was just there and easy. I had my veggie burgers one night but they just didn't appeal to me the next day as much as the pork did... the fact that I am blogging about my latest slip up isn't really related to eating the meat itself, I gave myself a break for the weekend and I knew I would slip. The point of this is actually the fact that I felt sick after eating and I still feel sick today.
It's almost as if I can still feel the meat sitting in the pit of my stomach as it gets digested... gross...
And I'm not saying the thought of it makes me sick, it's the fact that IT has made me feel sick.
I feel sluggish and heavy, bloated and disgusting. (Oh and I also decided - what the heck might as well eat pizza while I'm at it so we had some last night - and no it wasn't vegetarian NOR was it white meat topping)

I'm honestly glad I did slip up because now I am able to feel the difference in my body.
Even last week I had chicken a few evenings in a row and that even made me feel heavy. It wasn't what my body wanted but it was there so I ate it anyways. That seems to be my problem, those types of food being there that make me decide to consume them even though it isn't what I really want.

So from here on out I vow to myself that after feeling the difference in myself I will not be eating red meat again. Next camping trip I am going to be WAY better prepared and stick to my guns.
This week is going to be my detox week, I'm going to elimate all meat from my diet this week and try to cut out my dairy too so I can get back to normal... at least somewhat!

My Favorite Things (at the moment)

Taking a cue from my fabulous cousin Ricky (check out his blog here) I've been inspired to blog about a few things that I absolutely love and cannot live without and a few things that I love and wish I could incorporate into my life more!

1. Cooking & Baking - I LOVE anything to do with creating food. I never used to and was actually quite afraid of cooking but once I moved out on my own and had to fend for myself a whole new side of me emerged; this new me had a yearning to learn anything I could on techniques and flavors and recipes. I would spend hours watching the Food Network and trying to duplicate the tasty dishes that the pro's were serving up, I would scour the Food Network website daily for ideas of what to make with what I had on hand, I spend my extra pocket change on cook books and would read them cover to cover like a novel!

Becuase of this love I have a few things that are my kitchen must haves:

A good quality chefs knife (and sharpener)

Fresh herbs & spices

Good cookware

Cookbooks

My favorite cookbook is actually a beautiful collaboration of my Grandmothers (handwritten) recipes that were put together for me as a gift from my Mom and Auntie for Christmas. It is my most cherished item in my whole house!

2. Tea - I used to be addicted to coffee and would drink up to one pot a day (and that would consist of my liquid intake, shame on me for not drinking water!) But after getting pregnant and eliminating caffeine from my diet completely for those 9 months I couldn't bring myself to drink it like I did previously and replaced my habit with tea. I've always loved tea and it has always reminded me of my Grandma & Grandpa 'Nick' as it tea was always followed with every meal so before it was always a sort of comfort for me to have a cup. Now I start and end every day with a cup of tea. I love most kinds but my favorite is Chamomile, I bought the most wonderful loose leaf chamomile tea from the Farmers Market a few years ago and sadly have never came across it since! I do enjoy the chamomile citrus tea from Mighty Leaf (below).

3. Camping - there is something about spending a whole weekend (or longer) living mostly outdoors that I just love! It is so refreshing to take a break from the daily routine and shut off the cell phone and spend some quality time with your friends and family. We go every long weekend of the year and any other time we can fit it in, I really do look forward to those times the most and it's no doubt my favorite thing about summer!

4. Yoga - there was a time when me and mom had a routine of going to yoga 2 or more times a week together and I have to say I have never felt better in my life! We went to Hot Yoga in Calgary and the combination of the poses and the heat of the room were amazing. Unfortunately, and for some reason I don't recall, we stopped going and returned to our lazy un-motivated state and we often sit and reminisce about it and one of us will throw out a 'we should go next week' but so far next week hasn't arrived...

5. Painting - I am no Van Gough but I do enjoy painting with acrylics. I am however a perfectionist when it comes to my work which creates one problem and I am also impatient which creates another, I tend to start projects and don't finish them because these two contributing factors.

A few years ago I started a painting for my mom that was supposed to be her Christmas gift - it never got finished. And I do admit it was turning out pretty good but as I was in the process of painting the birch trees I got frustrated and quit because they weren't - in my opinion - good enough and I 'didn't want to give my mother a piece of S#!T' for her present...

Anyways I would love to get back into this hobby!

6. Reading - I have always loved reading, I will read anything and be content with it from cook books, magazines, novels, poems, you name it! There are times where I fall behind and don't pick up a book for a few months and then other times where I devour a book in a matter of days! Fortunately my Mother in Law has a love for reading as well and we have begun to trade books as we finish them which has helped me keep up. I recently finished reading Envy by Sandra Brown which was very intriguing!

7. Lulu Lemon - Maybe it's being a Mom, or maybe I'm just using that as an excuse to be lazy but I practically LIVE in my Lulu Lemon pants!! They are by far the most comfortable and wonderful pants in the entire world and I think everyone should own a pair! I am also lusting after one of their hoodies so I can complete my ensemble!

8. Crafts/Scrapbooking - I started scrapbooking after Aiden was born and I really enjoyed it. I decided it would be a more personal way to create a Baby Book for him. Also for our wedding I decided I wanted to make our invitations and programs myself and I was quite pleased as to how they came out as well - I definitely don't give myself enough time to do this more often (as the Baby Book hasn't been touched since 2008) but I am hoping to get into it again and finish off at least what I've started for Aiden!

9. Wine - I won't say that I am a connesuir or anywhere close to that status but I do love my vino. It adds the perfect touch to dinner or desserts and there are different kinds for every occassion/dish that you could imagine! We have a wonderful family member who makes home made wine that is not only delicious but dangerous (we are after all from Saskatchewan - we know a thing or about strong beverages) and I do have a favorite that I was introduced to at a previous company luncheon - Ripassa. It is a wonderful red wine with rich berry notes, vanilla and hazelnut scents with a hint of oak. (Plus it is at a great pricepoint of around only $20 per bottle)

Thats all I can think of for now but perhaps I will add more later!

What are some things that you LOVE?

Getting Over the Hump-day

I am thankful that today is Humpday... although I feel as though it should be Friday at this point, as this week has somehow managed to drag on relentlessly, to my dismay it is not...

Do you ever find yourself annoyed by your day? For instance I am quite annoyed with every day this week, I am tired of answering phones at work and talking to people who don't listen or care or just doubt that I am listening or that I care and I am getting frustrated from other's frustrations.

Like the transferrance of energy, these angry and rude customers calling in day after day and week after week are slowely wearing me down. They somehow manage to transfer this anger and frustration through the telephone so that I go home feeling that way myself despite not having anything to be angry or frustrated about.
I really believe that in life you get what you give, I always try to be decent to others and treat them with the same respect I in turn would like to receive. Unfortunately not everyone is like this and there are always some Debbie Downers in the bunch but overall I would like to say that when I give "happy" I get "happy" and it's nice. This week however there hasn't been any transferring of "happy" and I really just want a break from it. Maybe it's because I didn't get a full weekend off and I am now paying for it or maybe it's my monthly 'friend' who is deciding my mood at the moment but either way I just want to go home, lie in bed and read a book while leaving everything and everyone (mostly everyone) outside my closed doors.

I must say I am thankful that this is a temporary position, although I very much enjoy being around everyone I work with and it is a really good environment I definitely don't enjoy Customer Service... although I have come a long ways from tearing up at the first customer yelling at me because he wasn't happy with his services - I definitely don't feel that I am a good fit for being the "Go To" person.
In some ways I think I'm like a sponge and any negativity or anger that is presented to me is sucked in and I take everything personally so that at the end of the day I am so overwhelmed that I feel like breaking down at times.

This is one reason I am so happy to be going to school and creating my own path. One comment my Massage Basics teacher made was that "In the last 40 years of doing my job I have never had anyone leave my massage table unhappy, and that in itself has made my career very satisfactory" and really who would leave a massage unhappy??? A statue perhaps... but no person I know would and that is a refreshing thought.
I very much look forward to starting this new journey and hopefully it will be just as rewarding and satisfying as I think it will be.